[on the Dacia Sandero]
Hey, great news!
What?
I've been sent more information on the Dacia Sandero.
Excellent, excellent. [quickly] Hey, now...
S11 E6July 27th, 2008
[Introducing the Top Gear vs D-Motor film]
Now, there's a new TV show in Germany. It's all about cars and it's hosted by three people.
I can't imagine where they got that idea from! No idea! Anyway, they got in touch with us and they invited us to take them on in a series of races and challenges.
Now, obviously, we needed somewhere to stage this.
Yes. I suggested we did it in the skies over southern England!
In fact, we settled on Belgium, which was a country invented so that Britain and Germany would have somewhere to sort out their differences!
Yup! And, on that point, the producers told us: "Now, listen. You're representing the BBC. You can't just turn up and go on about the war."
[James grins in silence]
It's a gravel trap designed to stop Formula One cars. How on earth do you think it's not going to stop a Jaguar with a Metro on the roof?
[voiceover] With us out all we could hope was that Jeremy and Kiff the soundman would race on, cleanly and fairly.
Ram him! RAM!
James and Richard think it's all over... and they're right!
Who makes the fastest cars: the Axis powers or the Allies?
You came up with this one didn't you?
Yes!
[Moments before James commences a drag race in a G-Whiz]
Cock. Just remembered the Australians. They do that VXR thing...
[During the Axis vs Allies drag race]
I'm hoping that because the Lamborghini's Italian, it'll change sides halfway through the race.
[During the Top Gear v. Germans challenge: hatch-back test]
Awful lot of bullets hitting me here.
[voiceover] And no wonder...
James, what are you doing!?
Shooting at Jeremy.
But he's on our side!
Yeah, but why wouldn't you?
You're right, you would. Fire!
[James is watching Where Eagles Dare during the Bowler Nemesis test]
[German accent] Sit down, Kommandant.
You're not interested in these, are you?
D'you know what? Your mind cannot comprehend of how uninterested I am in things like this.
[Richard crashes his Bowler Nemesis]
[over radio] Hammond, if you don't get that thing started, [German accent] for uz, zee competition iz over!
Oh this, I'm gonna get grief for this now. This is not good.
[German accent] Cooler, eight weeks.
It's a two lap race of the Zolder circuit and it's between a Porsche 911 - the racing Porsche 911 - which will be driven by professional racing driver Tim Schrick. And he will be against an Aston Martin DBRS9, which will be driven by James May.
[quietly] Do we have to use James?
Well, no, you did the Bowler thing, I did the Mini thing, it's his turn.
But he's gonna lose... badly.
[Upon seeing the Stig was leading at the final corner]
Stiii- [realizing] Jaaames!
[Mocking the speculation on the Stig, after passing him off as James May]
Some say you saved our bacon.
Others say I was bound and gagged in the locker room.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.