Top Gear quotes

Jeremy

(voiceover) At 4 am, there were still 700 yards to go, and the men were flagging. So, I brought out the motivational big gun.

(over loudspeakers) ...another winter of discontent.

Richard

This is... Thatcher? To motivate the men?

Jeremy

This is going well.

(over loudspeakers) ...and I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense.

James

Yes! I like that one! (applauds)

Richard

Don't, you'll encourage him!

Jeremy

(voiceover) The chaps, however, were not Telegraph readers like James. So I promised them that the sooner they finished laying, the sooner I'd switch her off.

Jeremy

Tonight: Hugh Grant stars in our Reasonably-Priced Car; and is the new Audi TT any good? We find out... by playing golf.

Jeremy

Some say that he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal... all we know is, he's called Lord Stig!

James

This is Germany, there are procedures to go through... I like procedures.

James

It's no wonder Michael Schumacher retired, he's slower than me!

James

This is a road car, and I'm up to 404... 405, come on!

James

[after hearing it's now illegal to retune a radio while driving] I can't listen to an episode of the Archers in the car without losing my temper, and having a crash... deliberately... to end it.

Richard

Wow! A TVR band! So presumably they play really loud, really fast and then burst into flames!

James

Oh look, I found Jeremy's notes: Trousers, fat, Hitler, Teige, Mazda, Alfa, modernism, minimalism.

James

[in the museum gift shop, as a general question] Do you have like a single volume on the artistic influence of Alfa Romeo coupes?

Jeremy

You went to art school--you should be good at this.

Richard

Did you go to art school?

Jeremy

No I didn't.

Richard

Then you wouldn't know. All you do at art school is drink and pursue women.

Jeremy

Do you know what? We've made amphibious cars, we made a convertible people carrier, I've raced you to Oslo... this is the hardest thing I have ever faced.

Jeremy

That's the inside of the Mazda... that's not Bauhaus. That's my trousers.

What does it symbolize?

Jeremy

The Audi?

Yes.

Jeremy

It symbolises... [pause] freedom...? [making reference to the film Braveheart] freedom...! like that.