[announcing an event, with the text on the sign behind him truncated]
...in the "Top Gear Winter Olympics Ski Slash Car Jumping Champio!"
Top Gear Winter Olympics (February 12th, 2006)
Gravity is a cruel and unpredictable mistress, so...
No it isn't, it's a constant all over the world.
[on building a snow bank at the bottom of the ski slope]
[to Jeremy] Yeah, it's going well. It's going well... [he slips, falls, and slides all the way down the slope]
I can guarantee that won't stop the Mini. Partly because it's not substantial enough, but mostly because you've built that in front of that slope, and the Mini... is coming down that one. [pointing to the other ski slope].
Right.
[Jeremy and James collapse laughing]
Righto.
What a complete...
I'll make some adjustments.
Did nobody tell you?!
[shouting] NO!! Obviously!! Or I'd have built it over there!!
[Jeremy and James continue to laugh]
That is fairly embarrassing. What I need... is a big machine.
[announcing an event, with the text on the sign behind him truncated]
I declare the "Top Gear Suzuki Swift Car/Ice Hockey Cha" open!"
Ok! The blue team captained by Captain Slow, that's primetime television. The red team captained by Richard Phillip Schofield Hammond, that's daytime television.
[Jeremy howls]
He's great isn't he? Give him a megaphone, he's happy!
PPlayer
Do you have any vacuum cleaner?
A vacuum cleaner?
PPlayer
Yes, clean the seats.
Does Top Gear have a vacuum cleaner?! No!
You've just let me down.
Rubbish. I've scored two brilliant goals whilst you've been chatting up some Norwegian woman and standing in the bar.
PPlayer
That was my wife.
It was his wife.
Yes, it was your wife.
[While playing a game of ice hockey]
Hammond, in the sin bin!
I can't believe I got sin binned, for what?
Go on ITV, and you get sin binned. It's that simple.
[voiceover] With me shackled, Prime Time bought the scores to 5-4.
[scoring a goal] Yeah!
Oh, come on, ref!
Hammond, you may rejoin...
[Hammond drives a few feet forward]
...and that's the end of the game, everybody!
Some time the next afternoon, it was morning.
[on rocketing a Mini down a ski slope]
This has never been done before.
No. We are, in fact, at the cutting edge of cocking about!
No one has ever done it before because they probably would be killed to death.
[At the end of the car vs. man in Arctic conditions film]
So, if you want to drive to the North Pole, buy a Hammond.
Top Gear Polar Race (July 25, 2007)
[This special episode of Top Gear is entirely a race from Resolute in Canada to the North Magnetic Pole].
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.