Richard Hammond quotes from Top Gear

Richard

[Driving the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S] So, we've devised another Richard Hammond real world test...

Richard

It must take more work to make something look, this boring! And the plastic [taps dashboard], well you know that stuff holds your chocolates in place in a box of Milk Tray? [gestures to dashboard] Yeah.

Richard

I don't know if I've mentioned this but the parcel shelf in this, is made out of pineapples. Don't know if that'll help.

Richard

Oh, I've just seen the queue [behind them] as we came off the roundabout! I can't live with the shame!

Richard

Oh no, Jeremy it's worse... over there. That's not a sign you ever want to read on your holiday. [points to a sign that reads: "Toilet Chemical Disposal Only"]

Richard

How far from Scotland is Carlisle?

Richard

And, then, inside, it's the usual blend of dead animal and rainforest, but with a twist!

Richard

Now, the previous Noble, the M12, was a real "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" punch in the back.

Richard

If I was in a TVR, now, the indicators would be on the ceiling and the switches would be made of kryptonite and the doors would open inwards on a dodecahedral hinge. But no! If I pull up in a Noble, the door is just a door, that opens sort of... doorishly!

Richard

Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant, including the camera men. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

Richard

[voiceover] James was having problems with his illegal immigrant. So, he decided to employ him.

Richard

That's the most embarrassing thing I've ever done!

Richard

When the afterburner lights, I haven't got 5,000 horsepower: I've got 10,000 horsepower, and possibly the biggest accident you've ever seen in your life.

Richard

I don't wanna be upside down!

Richard

Oh bugger! Something's gone wrong!