Richard Hammond quotes from Top Gear

Richard

[Into radio whilst sitting in a full-size remote control car as James crashes it] You are utterly useless!

Richard

[Voiceover whilst controlling a life-size remote control car towing a caravan about to be hit by the "Wrecking Ball of Doom"] For once, I was hoping the caravan would survive.

Richard

Look. A petrol station, the natural home territory of the Ford GT. And there it is, at the watering hole, drinking its fill. For the forty-seventh time today.

Richard

[on multiple occasions] I have not had my teeth whitened!

Richard

[driving his Zonda in Paris] Don't scratch it!

Richard

[driving his Zonda in Paris, responding to horns blowing behind him] I know it's a supercar! It doesn't have vertical take-off!

Richard

[on Jeremy's Ford GT and its literally useless luggage compartment] The boot is there... purely to accommodate the boot lid!

Richard

Some say he can swim seven lengths under water, and he has webbed buttocks... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

Richard

Meanwhile, my lack of power was becoming an issue.

Richard

No!! Not now...

Richard

Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

Richard

Ow! Oh, that sounded expensive.

Richard

So on this car, they've thrown out the fancy electronic power steering for a more old-fashioned system that they prefer. They've also got rid of those ridiculous run-flat tyres, and they've not messed about with any fancy gearboxes either. They've fitted it with a proper old-fashioned manual.

Richard

[voiceover] That is a set of confident decisions. So naturally, you'd be forgiven for approaching any corner with a similar amount of confidence.

Richard

[countersteering furiously] Whoa! Whoa! Understeer - ! [recovering control] ... Bloody hell! I was not expecting that.

Richard

[holding a red Dorset Naga chili pepper] This... is the BMW Z4. [tastes pepper gingerly with the tip of his tongue] GAH!

Richard

[on the Z4M, still in pain after tasting a red naga chili] It absolutely steals your heart, which is why it's the one I'd drive home. If I could see...