[During the opening sequence]
Tonight! We drive down a sewer. We power-slide across a field. And we do some other things as well.
“December 6th, 2009” · Season 14, Episode 4
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (7), Richard Hammond (1), James May (1)
[opening a segment]
What if you're mad? What if you can't walk past a window without being overcome by an uncontrollable urge to lick it?
[laughter]
[Describing the new BMW X5 M]
The results are as dramatic as putting a furious weasel in your underpants.
[Also on the BMW X5 M]
This car would be less annoying to eco-mentalists if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.
[Describing an outfitted Range Rover they have in the studio]
And here is the really amazing bit. This is what's called a "self-replenishing drinks cabinet". For the first year you own the car, when your drink supplies are getting low, they come 'round and top them up free of charge!
Wow! Wow!
Do I have to buy the car, or can I just have the self-replenishing drinks cabinet?
Honestly, I tell you what: if I bought this car, the diesel in the tank after one year would be exactly the same as it was when it came.
You'd still be in the same field. I tried drinking the diesel but then the man arrived with more champagne! I just want one of those!
No, it is. I mean really and truthfully, this is the car to buy if you are sensible... or if you're a drunk!
[On the Stig]
Some say that the drinks cabinet in his car contains fourteen different types of custard. And that while he has been known to leave his house in a bit of a hurry, he's never once hit a fire hydrant. All we know he's called the Stig!
[Talking with Guy Ritchie]
Now obviously - I'm sorry about this - I'm sure a lot of people are going to expect a lot of tittle-tattle about Madonna. Can I just say? This isn't Loose Women. So there'll be none of that. This is Top Gear and I'm more interested in your love of winching. [to audience] No, I'm not kidding, ok. You like - what's it called? Off-green-laning? Off-roading?
GGuy
Green-laning and a bit winching. There's nothing like a good winch. As you know, It's a thing. I mean, it's quite a nerdy undertaking.
No, no, but there is. Because there are people who deliberately get stuck... [Guy smiles and nods] Don't tell me you're one of those? So you winch yours- you do don't you?
GGuy
I mean, if you're into winching, you get stuck.
And so then you can get out - winch yourself out?
GGuy
Yeah, well, if you don't get stuck you can't winch, so you deliberately look to get stuck.
I just find that fasci- cause what's the big appeal of winching a car?
GGuy
It doesn't make any sense at all. Why should you want to get a car stuck and then get it out? But I gotta tell ya - it's a lot of fun. I can't believe I'm talking so much about winching.
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