We don't have them yet, Mr. President.
All right, let's do a drill.
Mr. President, despite a rise in tension around the globe, you've held up funding for a missile defense shield.
Too much money for too little protection.
Sir, you oppose a voucher system that would offer children a choice of better schools...
That would offer some children a choice of better schools, but I haven't given up the ghost on better schools for everybody, and vouchers drain money from that goal.
Mr. President, this next question is on capital punishment, which you oppose: If your youngest daughter Zoey was raped and murdered, would you not want to see the man responsible put to death?
First of all, it's important to understand the President doesn't make that decision, though he appoints the Supreme Court Justices who do so. What... any... um... All right, I'm not going to say that. I'll just go right to... No, I don't. I think you know that I'm opposed.... [sighs] Let's not do that. I haven't seen any evidence that it's a deterrent, and there are more effective... In my state...
[to Leo] You weren't kidding. [to Bartlet] What's the matter with you? When I left you... I just mentioned your daughter being murdered, and you're giving us an answer that's not only soporific, it's barely human! Yes, you'd want to see him put to death. You'd want it to be cruel and unusual, which is why it's probably a good idea that fathers of murder victims don't have legal rights in these situations. Now, we're going back to school.
[There is a long pause of silence, then they all begin to laugh.]
Let's go-- ten bucks. Crisis of confidence. [to Leo] You did one square foot of real estate.
Ten bucks for you. [to Toby] And you-- You big bear, come to me. I'm going to kiss you right on the mouth.
[They walk out of the Oval Office]
[to Sam] Have a safe flight.
I'll see you in San Diego.
[to Toby] Sorry about that. It was the President's idea. He bet us you couldn't stay quiet if he gave a bad answer. What?
Of course I wrote a concession. What, do you want to tempt the wrath of the... whatever, from high atop the thing?
Then go outside, turn around three times and spit. What's the hell is the matter with you?
It's like, 25 degrees outside.
Did you know Toby wrote a concession speech?
Of course he wrote a concession speech. What possible reason would he have for not writing a concession speech?
The wrath from high atop the thing?
He upped and said we were gonna...
No! You gotta go outside, turn around three times and curse.
You want a glass of water?
You seem a little dry. Sure you don't want a glass of water?
BBartlet
No, I feel great.
Maybe I should get you a glass of water, just in case. You could hold it in your hand.
BBartlet
[pause] How'd you know?
You were off the prompter.
BBartlet
[A little teary] Just for a second, I couldn't see it.
It's all right. There are going to be more days like this. It starts now. It's going to be harder this time.
BBartlet
Yeah, I know. We can still have tonight, though, right?
[fighting tears; smiles] You've got lots of nights.
She wanted a name for election night and I said, "Use my name," not thinking for a second it was ever going to be a practical option. Can I ask, is your office now The House of the Rising Sun?
You did it for the widow.
Yes, and for a guy I met named Will Bailey who was running the campaign and worked his ass off and never backed off and, by the way, navigated a dead liberal Democrat to a win against Chuck Webb! Five hundred races tonight, that was pretty impressive. Though it was an Aristotelian confluence of events that could only happen to me.
BBartlet
I don't want to intimidate you, but it turns out I'm the first Democrat in twenty years to make a clean sweep of the Plains states. And I'm not just talking about Iowa and Nebraska.
Are you trying to turn me on now?
BBartlet
I won the Dakotas, the Badlands, the Black Hills... But let's go down, way down, to the Deep South and the humid bayou of Louisiana and its nine electoral votes. What manner of man it must take to win the state, which, by the way, is the only one operating under the Napoleonic Code of France. And I still don't know what that's all about, but back to me...
Hon, this is like, nerd hot talk.
BBartlet
Who's your Commander in Chief?
We're all impressed with how influential you were, particularly when you consider that most of us have never met you! But what I'm most grateful for is the process story, which takes attention from the debate, and focuses it where it belongs, which is the contest. This is the story everyone'll be clamoring for and I like that you're filling that need. And to show my gratitude, I'm calling all the major news outlets and letting them know that I'll be forwarding all your confidential memos to the President, logs of all your calls with him, Secret Service logs of your meetings inside the White House.
CChris
I really pissed you off, huh?
Don't disrespect Leo McGarry and Bruno Gianelli.
I'm just simply going to kill you.
That is the brunette, named Annette.
Wouldn't you give anything if she was from Tibet?
I'm actually fine with her being from Philadelphia, so please state your business.
Why? Why would you think something like that?
Well, it was Josh's idea.
Well, I picked a trifecta with the California 47th, the sheriff's race in Arizona and the Tulsa Family Court.
Well, can I just give you the money and not...
I also think you'd be a home run choice. You're going to raise a lot of money. I'm going to help you and I have a hunch the President, who just won a landslide, will be making some visits as well. You'll be the best funded Democrat ever run in 47. You're not going to win, so you can't lose.
I think you'd energize the state party. We're not going to let you look like a fool. We won't allow it.
[to Toby] What do you think?
I don't think you should do it. Energizing the state party's good. A well-funded airing of the issues is good. So is mollifying House Democrats, but you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? You're going to lose. A Democrat's always loses in the 47th. Can't just pick up and try someplace else. They have a name for that.
I don't know. I don't know. I worked in a state assembly race in Manhattan, in a district where Democrats outnumbered Republicans sixteen to one. But everywhere we went, there'd be one lone poster of a right-wing nutbar who wanted to eliminate the income tax. And he was holding up signs an canvassing everywhere and bugging the local reporters until we had to comment on it. So I introduced myself to his campaign manager and I said 'What are you doing? Your candidate doesn't have a chance. Neither do your issues.' He said 'This is what I believe. And no candidate gets to run in my district without speaking to my issues.' I came this close to voting for him. So... I don't know about what you just said.
Then I think you should win.
[loudly] Debbie! First of all where the hell are you and where are my–?
[enters with glasses] Right here, Mr. President. And the Ipswitch clams in Chesapeake Bay can hear you bellowing right now.
Ipswich clams don't come from Chesapeake Bay, they come from Ipswich.
[to Leo] Have her beheaded for my birthday.
