Charlie! Would you pull the first lady out of whatever it is she's doing?
She's with the women's caucus.
Well put on a helmet and pads and get in there.
S4Swiss Diplomacy
Samuel Mudd set Booth's leg after he shot Lincoln. Doctors are liable in this country if they don't treat the patient in front of them.
BBartlet
Just for the record, this is why we don't talk about foreign policy, which we do, but you don't think we do enough.
Why?
BBartlet
Because Samuel Mudd was tried and convicted of treason for setting that leg.
So?
BBartlet
What 'so'?
So that's the way it goes. You set the leg.
Run towards yourself. I'm wrong about that - walk. You're not going to be used to your surroundings.
Yes, sir.
If you lose, you lose. But if you waste this, I'll kill you.
You're going to campaign on prescription drugs?
Our prescription drug bill-- yes, sir-- and our Medicare reforms and the Bartlet Energy Plan.
Sam.
Yes, sir?
It's okay to run away from me when you need to.
I would never, Mr. President. I simply would never do that. That's not how I'm getting votes.
I appreciate that but that's not what I'm talking about. You disagreed with me on Medicare. I remember the meeting right here. Then you wrote a five-page
Yes, sir.
If you lose, you lose. But if you waste this, I'll kill you. I'll just kill you, Sam.
Yes, sir.
S4Arctic Radar
Call and response isn't going to work in front of a Joint Session. You're alliteration happy: 'guardians of gridlock,' 'protectors of privilege.' I needed an avalanche of Advil. And when you use pop-culture references, your speech has a shelf life of twelve minutes. You don't mind constructive criticism, do you?
No, sir.
Anyway, thanks for coming in. I told Sam I can do this by myself.
Well, maybe he thought that your speeches were obscurantist policy tracts lost in a cul-de-sac of their own internal self-righteousness and groaning from the weight of statistics. I'm just speculating. I can't say for sure.
[pause; laughs to himself] A 500-word stanza on American leadership in a globally interdependent age that moves beyond triumphalism by this time tomorrow. If it's 501, don't show it to me.
You want me to have the President dodge a call from the UN Secretary-General and not know why?
Yeah. Can you swing that?
If I could, that would be troubling, wouldn't it?
[to Leo] You're like the guys who say, 'Are you telling me you could only find one African-American speechwriter good enough to work at the White House?' I'm amazed I found that many. 'Good enough to work at the White House' is a pretty small population to begin with. And guys who can write entire sections of a State of the Union? I'd be as surprised if there were as many as nine of us. And Sam was one of them.
This is incredibly good... Will. 'Never shrinking from the world's...' '...a fierce belief in what we can achieve together.' I used to write like this. It was ten months ago. I don't understand what's going on. I really don't. I've had slumps before. Everybody does, but this is different. I'm sorry, we don't know each other, but there aren't that many people I can talk to about it. I don't understand what's happening. There's no blood going to it. I never had to locate it before. I don't even know where to look. I'm the President's voice and I don't want it to sound like this. And there's an incredible history to second Inaugurals. 'Fear itself,' Lincoln...I really thought I was on my way to being one of those guys. I thought I was close. Now I'm just writing for my life and you can't serve the President that way. But if I didn't write...I can't serve him at all.
Yeah. Can I tell you three things? You are more in need of a night in Atlantic City than any man I've ever met. Number two is, the last thing you need to worry about is no blood going there. You've got blood going there, about thirteen ways. And some of it isn't good. Once again, I say, 'Atlantic City.' I'd say sit down at a table, go for dinner, see a show take a walk on the boardwalk and smell the salt air... but if you're anything like me, nothing after 'sit down at a table' is going to happen.
What's the third thing?
You are one of those guys.
When you order a guy to go fight, the guy can't think it's because you're sleeping with his wife.
You're right.
That's...That's an unusual phrase for you sir, did you just learn it?
Well you didn't let me finish.
I had a hunch.
S4Holy Night
Seriously, Toby, you put me in that office and everyone who works on the speech-writing staff is gonna resent me.
Don't be ridiculous. It's a West Wing office. Everyone who works in the White House is gonna resent you.
My dad's going to love him.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I love him, so my father will love him.
That's absolutely the way it works.
So I have to ask you and I'm nervous, but I'd like Jean Paul to come stay with us in Manchester this Christmas.
BBartlet
Zoey, I think it's really sweet that you still come to me for permission. You're classy and you're old-fashioned.
So it's okay?
BBartlet
Not in a million years.
[to Will] Listen, when you get home tonight you're going to be confronted by the instinct to drink alone. Trust that instinct. Manage the pain. Don't try to be a hero.
Danny thinks w-we somehow got a Gulfstream to land in Bermuda, assassinated Shareef, then disassembled the plane and distributed the pieces throughout the Bermuda Triangle?
Yeah.
I think he spent too much time in the Africa hot.
The thing is...
Yeah?
I'm absolutely certain that's what happened.
S4Guns Not Butter
It's the curse of every daughter's father.
Boyfriends?
I don't like them, I don't like them at all.
Yes, I know sir.
What the hell happened with you two? It was perfect. I just kept you in the office all the time.
Well, she was unhappy that I was at the office all the time.
That was the point. If I was trying to make her happy, I'd buy her a Cabriolet.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.