Mandy Hampton quotes from The West Wing

[referring to his Presidential run, speaking to Mandy, who just drove her car onto a curb] It wasn't going to happen.

Mandy

You know what the worst part about this is?

Well, I think you dinged up your suspension pretty good.

Mandy

No, Lloyd, it's the party they're having, right now, in the West Wing, at my expense.

They're not having a party in the West Wing.

Mandy

I've worked with these people for two and a half years. They like to win and they like to gloat.

I'm sure you're wrong.

Mandy

I'm sure I'm not.

There are very serious people working at the White House. A blow is struck for party unity today, there's no cause to gloat.

Josh

Victory is mine, victory is mine. Great day in the morning, people, victory is mine.

Donna

Morning Josh.

Josh

I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.

Donna

It's going to be an unbearable day.

Leo

Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House had a big block of cheese.

Toby

Huh.

Leo

I am making a mental list of those who are snickering, and even as I speak I am preparing appropriate retribution. The block of cheese was huge - over two tons. And it was there for any and all who might be hungry.

Toby

Leo, wouldn't this time be better spent plotting a war against a country that can't possibly defend itself against us?

Leo

We can do that later, Toby. Right now I'm talking about President Andrew Jackson.

Leo

And Sam goes on my list!

Sam

What about Toby?

Leo

I'm unpredictable. Jackson wanted the White House to belong to the people, so from time to time, he opened his doors to those who wished an audience.

Mandy

And then he locked the doors behind them and made them eat two tons of cheese.

Leo

It is in that spirit...

Sam

Hang on. Mandy doesn't go on the list?

Leo

Mandy's new.

Sam

So it's just me... on the list?

Leo

Yes. It is in the spirit of Andrew Jackson that I, from time to time, ask senior staff to have face-to-face meetings with those people representing organizations who have a difficult time getting our attention. I know the more jaded among you, see this as something rather beneath you. But I assure you that listening to the voices of passionate Americans is beneath no one, and surely not the peoples' servants.

Josh

[walks in with C.J.] Sorry, we're late. Is it "Total Crackpot Day" again?

Leo

Yes, it is.

Sam

And let us please note that Josh does not go on the list.

Mandy

It really bugs you that the President listens to me sometimes.

Josh

Yes, but you shouldn't take it personally. It bugs me when the President listens to anyone who isn't me.

Mandy

What about a negotiator?

Negotiate what?

Mandy

A peaceful settlement.

Josh

This is a stand off with federal officers. A peaceful settlement is "put your guns down, you're under arrest."

Mandy

I think it would be wise if we demonstrated that we exhausted every possible peaceful solution before we got all Ramboed up.

Josh

I don't think it's unreasonably macho for the White House to be aggressive in preserving democracy.

Mandy

Let me tell you something. Ultimately, it is not the nuts that are the greatest threat to democracy, as history has shown us over and over and over again, the greatest threat to democracy is the unbridled power of the state over its citizens. Which, by the way, that power is always unleashed in the name of preservation.

Josh

This isn't abstract, Mandy. This isn't a theoretical problem. The FBI says come out with your hands up, you come out with your hands up. At which point, you're free to avail yourself of the entire justice system.

Mandy

Do you really believe that? Or are you just pissed off because I got into the game?

Leo

One in three?

C.J.

Yes.

Leo

He said one in three White House staffers are on drugs?

C.J.

Yes.

Leo

Where does he get these stats?

C.J.

Leo-

Leo

I mean where does he pull them from?

C.J.

Out of the clear blue sky, but that doesn't matter!

Leo

[to Margaret] Is someone bringing me a tape on this?

Mandy

This isn't happening to me.

Leo

Nothing's happened, stay cool.

Sam

[walks in] Is it possible for Peter Lillianfield to be a bigger jackass? You think if he tried hard, there's room for him to be a slightly bigger horse's ass than he's being right now?

C.J.

At some point you hit your head on the ceiling, don't you?

Sam

I think there's unexplored potential.

Josh

[enters] ‘Sup.

Mandy

Josh.

Josh

Five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the 1.6 of you who are stoned right now that it's time to share.

Josh

Here's one.

Mandy

One what?

Josh

A book which if I was stuck with it on a desert island I still wouldn't read it. "The Adventures of James C. Adams, Mountaineer and Grizzly Bear Hunter of California." I believe I would eat this book before I read it.

Toby

I feel like I've lost 180 pounds. I am smiling, I am laughing, I am enjoying the people I work with - I gotta snap outta this. What's on your mind?

Mandy

I want you to help me get the Chinese to give us a new panda bear to replace LumLum.

Toby

Well that did the trick.