“The Short List” · Season 1
In this episode: Leo McGarry (3), Sam Seaborn (3), Josiah Bartlet (2), Josh Lyman (2), C.J. Cregg (2), Danny Concannon (1), Mandy Hampton (1)
In 1787, there was a sizable block of delegates who were initially opposed to the Bill of Rights. This is what a member of the Georgia delegation had to say by way of opposition; 'If we list a set of rights, some fools in the future are going to claim that people are entitled only to those rights enumerated and no others.' So the Framers knew–
Were you just calling me a fool, Mr. Seaborn?
I wasn't calling you a fool, sir. The brand new state of Georgia was.
It's not just about abortion, it's about the next 20 years. Twenties and Thirties it was the role of government, Fifties and Sixties it was civil rights. The next two decades it's gonna be privacy. I'm talking about the Internet. I'm talking about cell phones. I'm talking about health records and who's gay and who's not. And moreover, in a country born on the will to be free, what could be more fundamental than this?
What are you holding?
It's a goldfish.
Why?
It's for you.
Really?
Josh said you like goldfish.
[laughing] The crackers, Danny, the cheese things that you have at a party.
Oh... Ah... You know what, I'm not a hundred percent sure I was supposed to know that.
: The crackers, Danny.
Well, fine, now I got a goldfish.
[still laughing] Give it to me.
No, no, no.
No, you'll kill it.
You think I can't take care of a goldfish?
I absolutely do not.
Her name's Gail, by the way.
The fish?
Yeah.
You named it Gail?
No, the guy in the store.
[more laughing] Come here. [Gives Danny a kiss on the cheek] Thanks for the fish.
I was interrogating this intern from the legislative liaison's office and she broke down crying while telling me about a bong she had made out of an eggplant.
You can do that?
I used to use a potato.
You've always been industrious.
Did you have a drink yesterday?
No, sir.
Do you plan to have a drink today?
No, sir.
That's all you ever have to say to me.
Would it surprise you to know that for the last few months you have been on a short list of candidates for the bench?
Yes, it would.
Well then this is gonna knock your socks off. Tomorrow evening at 5 o'clock, I am naming you as my nominee to be the next Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court. You were not the first choice, but you are the last one, and the right one. Will you accept the nomination?
With honor.
One in three?
Yes.
He said one in three White House staffers are on drugs?
Yes.
Where does he get these stats?
Leo-
I mean where does he pull them from?
Out of the clear blue sky, but that doesn't matter!
[to Margaret] Is someone bringing me a tape on this?
This isn't happening to me.
Nothing's happened, stay cool.
[walks in] Is it possible for Peter Lillianfield to be a bigger jackass? You think if he tried hard, there's room for him to be a slightly bigger horse's ass than he's being right now?
At some point you hit your head on the ceiling, don't you?
I think there's unexplored potential.
[enters] ‘Sup.
Josh.
Five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the 1.6 of you who are stoned right now that it's time to share.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
