Danny Concannon quotes from The West Wing

Danny

[to CJ] We keep shoving this conversation downstream. At some point you have to choose to have a relationship. We're not 25 any more. At our age you can't date a little and screw a little and wait around to see if you get sentimental at Christmas. You have to decide if you're gonna make another person a part of your life. A partner.

Danny

[to CJ] I want you to do what you want to do. Take the job at the White House. I just want you to talk to me about it. I want us to talk about what it will mean and how we'll make it work. I want us to talk like we're gonna figure it out together. I want us to talk...because I like the sound of your voice. I just want to talk.

CJ

What are you holding?

Danny

It's a goldfish.

CJ

Why?

Danny

It's for you.

CJ

Really?

Danny

Josh said you like goldfish.

CJ

[laughing] The crackers, Danny, the cheese things that you have at a party.

Danny

Oh... Ah... You know what, I'm not a hundred percent sure I was supposed to know that.

CJ

: The crackers, Danny.

Danny

Well, fine, now I got a goldfish.

CJ

[still laughing] Give it to me.

Danny

No, no, no.

CJ

No, you'll kill it.

Danny

You think I can't take care of a goldfish?

CJ

I absolutely do not.

Danny

Her name's Gail, by the way.

CJ

The fish?

Danny

Yeah.

CJ

You named it Gail?

Danny

No, the guy in the store.

CJ

[more laughing] Come here. [Gives Danny a kiss on the cheek] Thanks for the fish.

C.J.

If you call Mr. and Mrs. Lydell in St. Paul and ask them why...

Danny

Don't.

C.J.

Look...

Danny

Don't leak me a story.

C.J.

I wasn't.

Danny

I've seen this look on the face of four other press secretaries before you. You've got a story in the trash this week that's a story, you want it out there and someone said, "No."

C.J.

They're all stories this week.

Danny

That happens sometimes.

C.J.

Four other press secretaries and you never took a free lead?

Danny

I always took a free lead.

C.J.

Then...

Danny

Not from you.

C.J.

Why?

Danny

Cause twenty minutes from now, you're gonna remember you're a professional and you're not gonna like me anymore.

C.J.

What makes you think I like you now?

Danny

I don't know. But, as long as you keep grabbing me and kissing me, what the hell do I care?

C.J.

Good point.

Danny

If there's a story, I'll find it.

C.J.

No, you won't.

Danny

How do you know?

C.J.

Cause we've gotten very good at this.

Danny

Yes, you have.

I'm not used to having members of the print media in here.

Danny

I'll try not to get ink on the furniture.

Aw, Danny, and I was just about to offer you a cookie.

Danny

And now?

No.

Danny

I saw you guys are going to the opening on Friday.

Charlie

No.

Danny

No?

Charlie

Security.

Danny

Is Zoey bothered?

Charlie

You know, Danny, I don't mind talking, but I say it here and 10 million people read about tomorrow.

Danny

Thanks for the boost in my circulation but I'm actually off the record up here.

Charlie

[looks down] It's not going to work.

Danny

What's not going to work?

Charlie

You know what I'm talking about.

Danny

You and Zoey?

Charlie

Yeah.

Danny

Why?

Charlie

[angry] Look, I do what I do...I go where I go. If it's a problem for the Secret Service that I'm black...

Danny

Whoa....

Charlie

...then that's the way it is. But she shouldn't expect candy and flowers, you know what I mean?

Danny

I know what you're saying. But I don't think the problem is you're black. I think the problem is you're stupid.

Charlie

Well, thanks, Danny. You picked me right up.

Danny

You bet. Listen, the Hardy Boys in the letters they're talking about, they may be heavily armed but I wouldn't put a lot of money on their marksmanship. One of these days they're gonna miss her and hit me. Two thousand marriage proposals, 2,000 death threats, a dozen bodyguards. Everyone wants to get close. Everyone wants a thing. Plus, and I say this standing fifteen feet from the Oval Office, life with father couldn't have been a real company picnic, you know. If it was me, just for now, I'd make sure I was the one guy in her life who was hassle free. That's just me.

Danny

CJ, I'm not staying in the penalty box forever. I have covered the White House for eight years and I've done it with the New York Times, the Washington Post, Time Magazine, and the Dallas Morning News! And I'm telling you you can't mess me around like this!

C.J.

Danny, I just gotta tell you, that was - seriously - that was a turn-on when you said that, though I don't know why you decided to be your most haughty on the Dallas Morning News in that sentence.

C.J.

Danny, I don't even want to hear it. I did exactly the right thing. Your nose is bent out of joint, and I don't give a damn.

Danny

You looked at me point-blank and told me you were looking at a diplomatic...

C.J.

Danny...

Danny

You looked at me and told me...

C.J.

What did you think I was going to do, Danny? Give you longitude and latitude? Did you think I was going to fork over the radio frequency that we're transmitting on?

Danny

You didn't have to answer the question.

C.J.

I did!

Danny

You could have said, "Danny, we're not ruling anything in or out, and I'm not going to let you take me down that path" and we would have been done with it.

C.J.

Danny, if by standing up and lying, I misdirected Iraqi intelligence for even half a beat, then it was absolutely worth it. That's a no-brainer. And if I didn't, it was certainly worth trying. There were only 50 people in the world who can't understand why I lied this morning, and they all work in the White House pressroom. I'm sleeping fine tonight.

Danny

You didn't have to call on me. Every hand shot up, everybody's hand shot up, everybody was going to ask the same question, you knew what your answer was going to be, and you called on me.

C.J.

Well, yes, I did.

Danny

And you wouldn't have rather done that to a journalist that's been less supportive of this administration than I have?

C.J.

No, I chose you.

Danny

C.J., I'm not staying in the penalty box forever. I have covered the White House for eight years and I've done it with the New York Times, the Washington Post, Time Magazine, and the Dallas Morning News! And I'm telling you you can't mess me around like this!

C.J.

Danny, I just gotta tell you, that was - seriously - that was a turn-on when you said that, though I don't know why you decided to be your most haughty on the Dallas Morning News in that sentence.

Danny

[asking why C.J is going on the Portland Trip] Are you being punished?

C.J.

I'm not being punished. I'm going on the trip.

Danny

If the whole bus goes off the record, will you tell us why you're going on the trip?

C.J.

[hesitating] I made fun of Notre Dame. [the journalists collectively groaned] Usually I get away with it.

Danny

They're playing Michigan tomorrow.

C.J.

I know that now.

Danny

You can't do that when they're playing Michigan.

Danny

We cut farm assistance in Colombia. Every single crop we developed was replaced with cocaine. We cut aid for primary education in northwest Pakistan and Egypt; the kids went to madrassahs. Why weren't you making a case that Republican senators are bad on drugs, and bad on national security? Why are Democrats always so bumfuzzled? By the way, sixty-five more flight schools today. Maisy hasn't found your guy. Don't worry. There are thousands more.

CJ

You know something there, General Tso? If you had a story, you'd write it. If you don't have one, shut up. We just lost a vote. We're not bumfuzzled. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to cancel a photo op with a goat.

CJ

[to Carol] Stop trying to get us together, okay? If I wanted Danny I could have him. And he's still a jackass from the foreign-ops vote and many other things, so tell him I'm getting my hair done.

Danny

Your hair looks great.

CJ

[to Carol] There was no way you could tell me he was right behind me? You couldn't fit that in?

Danny

You want to comment on a wire report that says that the President lifted his gown and groped himself during the Invocation?

C.J.

Yeah, that was a troubling moment, but he had to get his napkin.

CJ

I wanna do my job. I wanna suck every morsel of meat off this experience before it's over.

Danny

Just get something done, will ya?

C.J.

That'll come down to what it always comes down to.

Danny

What's that?

C.J.

How dirty do my feet have to get without disappearing into the mud in order to get an inch of what I really want done.

Danny

We're both about to fall off a cliff. And I don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life, except I know what I don't wanna do. And on Inauguration Day, you're going to be released from that glorious prison on Pennsylvania Avenue, with...

C.J.

No human skills?

Danny

Seems to me...

C.J.

I should punch you in the face.

Danny

That's what I'm talking about.

C.J.

Keep going...

Danny

So, if I'm gonna jump off the cliff, and you're gonna get pushed off the cliff, why don't we hold hands on the way down?

C.J.

Men are like salmon. Swimming upstream, hosing down the riverbed with their indiscriminate seed...

Danny

Indiscriminate seed?

C.J.

Until...

Danny

Did you just say "indiscriminate seed"?

C.J.

Until they die, bloated and spent, belly-up in the sun.

Danny

Oh, quit sweet-talkin' me, baby.

C.J.

Unless they get taken out with a bear paw in the waterfall, as they deserve to be.