Carol, dotting the Is crossing the Ts, thank you for that.
We do our homework.
You misspelled senator.
“Take Out the Trash Day” · Season 1
In this episode: Toby Ziegler (3), C.J. Cregg (3), Josiah Bartlet (2), Josh Lyman (1), Leo McGarry (1), Sam Seaborn (1), Danny Concannon (1), Mrs. Landingham (1)
We've got a bit of a sticky wicket.
Please don't tell me I'm staying here and working late tonight.
I need you to read a report.
I'm a woman in her prime, Josh, I'm a prime woman.
There's no doubt about it, but I need you to read this anyway.
What is it?
We want Congress to sign off on funds for a hundred thousand new teachers. They say, fine, but you gotta stipulate that in Sex Ed classes....
Abstinence only?
Yes.
I would have no trouble passing such a class.
We commissioned a report about a year ago on Sex Education in public schools, and, well, this is it.
What's it say?
It's not good.
How's it not good?
It says basically that teaching 'abstinence only' doesn't work--that people are going to be prone to have sex whether they're cautioned against it or not.
Well, what are they recommending?
Something called "abstinence plus".
Abstinence plus?
Yes.
What's that mean?
Well, Sam's renamed it 'everything but'.
Everything but?
Yes.
Ah.
Yes.
They want teachers to teach...
Yes.
And so the sticky wicket joke was..?
A regrettable pun. Should I order you some food?
Y'know, I can't remember the last time I got home before midnight.
By the way, pages 27 to 33? A couple of things every girl should know.
Get me a salad.
LMr. Lydell
The hate crimes bill is fine. Who gives a damn? It's fine, I don't care. If you ask me, we shouldn't be making laws against what's in a person head but I don't give a damn, it's fine. I don't understand how this president, who I voted for, I don't understand how he can take such a completely weak ass position on gay rights. Gays in the military, same sex marriage, gay adoption, boards of education. Where the hell is he? I want to know what quality necessary to being a parent the president feels my son lacked. I want to know from this president who has served not one day in uniform - I had two terms in Vietnam - I want to know what quality necessary to being a soldier this president feels my son lacked. Lady I'm not embarrassed that my son is gay, my government is.
We never have our chats anymore, Toby.
What chats?
Our late night chats.
Did we ever do that?
No.
Is Simon Blye coming in to meet with you today?
How did you know that?
I broke into your secret schedule compartment and took infrared photos with my compact camera.
We're gonna see to all those things. In the meantime, at a time when the public is rightly concerned about the impact of sex and violence on TV this administration is gonna protect the Muppets, we're gonna protect Wall Street Week, we're gonna protect Live From Lincoln Center and by God, we are going to protect Julia Child.
Mrs. Landingham.
Yes sir?
You're not going to believe this but I think I'd actually like a banana.
I'm afraid not sir, no.
Why not?
You were offered one earlier, sir, and you were snippy.
I wasn't snippy!
I'm afraid you were, Mr. President. [looks toward the oval office] C.J.'s waiting, sir.
Thank you, Mrs. Landingham. [To CJ as he enters the Oval Office] She withholds food from me.
HHamlin
[on why the government should cut funding to PBS] Product licensing for this merchandise brings in over $20 million a year, none of which goes to PBS, all of which goes to the show's producer, the Children's Television Workshop. Now this is a company whose chief executive earns high six-figures in salary and benefits per year. Yet Sesame Street is subsidized by taxpayer dollars.
It's a perfectly reasonable complaint.
SSondra
And?
I don't care.
HHamlin
Toby...
We're gonna see to all those things. In the meantime, at a time when the public is rightly concerned about the impact of sex and violence on TV this administration is gonna protect the Muppets, we're gonna protect Wall Street Week, we're gonna protect Live From Lincoln Center and by God, we are going to protect Julia Child.
If you call Mr. and Mrs. Lydell in St. Paul and ask them why...
Don't.
Look...
Don't leak me a story.
I wasn't.
I've seen this look on the face of four other press secretaries before you. You've got a story in the trash this week that's a story, you want it out there and someone said, "No."
They're all stories this week.
That happens sometimes.
Four other press secretaries and you never took a free lead?
I always took a free lead.
Then...
Not from you.
Why?
Cause twenty minutes from now, you're gonna remember you're a professional and you're not gonna like me anymore.
What makes you think I like you now?
I don't know. But, as long as you keep grabbing me and kissing me, what the hell do I care?
Good point.
If there's a story, I'll find it.
No, you won't.
How do you know?
Cause we've gotten very good at this.
Yes, you have.
C.J. Yes, we have.
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