I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. Toby, tell me: these people don't vote, do they?
“He Shall, from Time to Time...” · Season 1
In this episode: Josiah Bartlet (8), Leo McGarry (3), Sam Seaborn (2), Josh Lyman (1), Toby Ziegler (1), Charlie Young (1), Donna Moss (1), Lord John Marbury (1)
We meant 'stronger' here, right?
What does it say?
I'm proud to report our country's stranger than it was a year ago?
That's a typo.
Could go either way.
So if the Capitol building blows up, the man my country will be looking to is the Secretary of Agriculture?
It's my country too.
Yeah, but you'll be dead.
Which is why I really don't care that much.
Josh–
[Cutting Donna off] Donna, I really don't anticipate the Capitol building exploding.
What percentage of things exploding have been anticipated?
Now you're bringing me down.
I would think so.
[re: soap opera] I don't understand. Don't any of these characters have jobs?
I don't know, Mr. President. I think one of them is a surgeon.
They seem to have a lot of free time in the middle of the day.
What's on your mind?
The era of big government is over.
You want to cut the line?
I want to change the sentiment. [pause] We're running away from ourselves and I know we can score points that way, I was a principal architect of that campaign strategy right along with you, Josh. But we're here now, tomorrow night we do an immense thing; we have to say what we feel, that government, no matter what its failures in the past and in times to come for that matter, government can be a place where people come together and where no one gets left behind. No one...gets left behind. An instrument of good.
[practicing the State of the Union speech] I came to this hallowed chamber one year ago on a mission, to restore the American dream for all our people as we gaze at the vast horizon of possibilities open to us... in the 321st century. Wow, that was ambitious of me, wasn't it?
Leo.
Let's take a break.
We meant 'stronger' here, right?
What does it say?
I'm proud to report our country's stranger than it was a year ago?
That's a typo.
Could go either way.
Abbey phoned me up and told me about your conversation. I was diagnosed about seven years ago. My life expectancy is normal. My particular course of MS is relapsing remitting, which means I should experience total recovery after attacks. Abbey gives me injections of something called Betaseron, and that reduces the frequency. Fever and stress tend to be two things that induces attacks.
Well, you're the President of the United States, you're delivering the State of the Union tomorrow night, India and Pakistan are pointing nuclear weapons at each other, and you have a 102-degree fever. So I guess we're out of the woods, hmm?
101.9.
Jed, of all the things you could've kept from me...
You haven't called me 'Jed' since I was elected.
[sits] Why didn't you tell me?
'Cause I wanted to be the President.
That wouldn't have stopped me from getting you here. And I could've been a friend.
You've been a friend.
But when it was time to really...
I know.
What have you got for me, John?
Well, um, after speaking at length this past week with your secretaries of state and defense, as well as your joint chiefs and various embassy officials, I believe this. Buy them off.
Buy them?
Yes, sir.
How?
Mr. President, for several centuries, my kingdom has ruled India with a stick and carrot. When we had a particular problem with someone, one solution we would try is to make him a maharaja. That's kind of a regional king. We would pay him off with an annual tribute, and in return, he would be loyal to the crown.
Lord Marbury, under our Constitution, our President is not empowered to create maharajas.
Yes. Thank you for clearing that up, Leo. Having been educated at Cambridge and the Sorbonne, I am, as you know, exceedingly stupid.
John, please.
You've been paying the world off since the industrial age. Foreign aid, during the Cold War was you paying dictators to be on your side. To this very day, you pay Korea not to develop nuclear weapons.
What does India want?
A computer industry, and for that, they require an infrastructure, and that is what you can give them.
Why?
It's the price you pay.
For avoiding a war halfway around the world?
For being rich, free and alive all at the same time, and for the criminally negligent behavior of your Congress in not checking the proliferation of nuclear devices.
[with the Secretary of Agriculture, Roger Tribbey, the Designated survivor staying behind during the State of the Union address]
OK, Roger. If anything happened, you know what to do, right?
RTRoger Tribbey
I honestly hadn't thought about it, sir.
First thing always is national security. Get your commanders together. Appoint Joint Chiefs, appoint a chairman. Take us to DEFCON 4. Have the governors send emergency delegates to Washington. The assistant Attorney General is going to be the Acting A.G. If he tells you he wants to bring out the National Guard, do what he tells you. [pause] You got a best friend?
RTRoger Tribbey
Yes, sir.
Is he smarter than you?
RTRoger Tribbey
[chuckles] Yes, sir.
Would you trust him with your life?
RTRoger Tribbey
Yes, sir.
That's your chief of staff.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.