Leo McGarry quotes from The West Wing

Bartlet

Damn it! How the hell did it happen?

Leo

It was bad intelligence, sir.

Bartlet

You think?

Leo

Ferente left behind a radio and a soldier at the outpost. And they were deliberately sending us misinformation.

Bartlet

We never anticipated they somebody might try that? We weren't prepared for someone to try and outfox us with a stratagem so sophisticated it's an entire generation behind "Hey look, your shoelaces are untied!?" Is that how I just lost nine guys, to a damn street gang with a ham radio?

Sam

I'm just going to change my shirt.

Leo

You look bad. You're tired. You slept in the office. It's Friday. Go home.

Sam

Why?

Leo

Because I think you're putting too much faith in the magical powers of a new shirt.

Leo

You just spent six billion dollars on health care. How do you feel?

Josh

I'd feel better if it meant just once I could go to a doctor without filling out something on a clipboard.

Bartlet

C.J., let me tell you something, don't ever ever underestimate the will of a grandfather. We're madmen, we don't give a damn, we got here before you and they'll be here after. We'll make enemies, we'll break laws, we'll break bones, but you will not mess with the grandchildren.

Leo

There was quite a bit of sugar in the creme' d'caramel.

Bartlet

Toby's concerned that the peaceful solution I brokered in Kashmir last year was the result of a drug-induced haze.

Leo

I was there with him. So was Fitz. So was Cashman, Hutchinson, Berryhill...

Toby

Well, that's fantastic.

Leo

Toby.

Toby

None of you were elected!

Bartlet

I was elected, they were appointed. The Vice President was elected. He has the constitutional authority to assume my--

Toby

Not last May, he didn't. Last May, when you were under general anesthesia.

Bartlet

That's because I never signed the letter, but I don't think I got shot because I got MS!

Toby

No, I don't think you did either, sir. I meant that during a night of extreme chaos and fear when we didn't yet know if we'd been the victims of domestic or foreign terrorism, or even an act of war, there was uncertainty as to who was giving the national security orders and it was because you never signed the letter. So I'm led to wonder, given your condition and it's lack of predictability, why there isn't simply a signed letter sitting in a file someplace. And the answer, of course, is that [chuckles] if there was a–a signed letter sitting in a file someplace, somebody would ask why. The Commander in Chief had just been attacked, he was under a general anesthetic, a fugitive was at large, the manhunt included every federal state and local law enforcement agency. The Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Delaware National Guard units were federalized. The KH-10s showed Republican Guard movement in southern Iraq. And twelve hours earlier, an F-117 was shot down in the no-fly, and the Vice President's authority was murky at best! The National Security Advisor and the Secretary of State didn't know who they were taking their orders from. I wasn't in the Situation Room that night, but I'll bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in your pockets that it was Leo. Who no one elected! For ninety minutes that night, there was a coup d'état in this country.

Bartlet

[sarcastically] And the walls came tumbling down. I feel fine, by the way, thanks for asking. [interjecting as Leo tries to speak up] No, Leo, Toby's concern for my health is moving me in ways...

Toby

Mr. President --

Bartlet

[suddenly infuriated, throws a stack of papers against his desk] SHUT UP! [circles around his desk, staring Toby in the face] You know, your indignation would be a lot more interesting to me if it weren't quite so covered in crap!

Charlie

[poking his head in] Sir...

Bartlet

[sharply] Yeah?

Charlie

Mr. Garrett.

Bartlet

Thanks. [glares back at Toby] Are you pissed because I didn't say anything, or are you pissed because there are fifteen people who knew before you did? I feel fine, by the way, thanks for asking.

Bartlet

[on Babish] He looks down his nose at me 'cause I'm not a lawyer.

Leo

Yes.

Bartlet

I didn't go to law school. I got a PhD in economics instead.

Leo

Your parents were very proud.

Bartlet

Yeah, and all that happened was I won a Nobel Prize and got elected President so I guess that decision didn't really pay off.

Leo

Yeah.

Bartlet

Should I run back and get my Nobel Prize?

Leo

I think he knows you've got one.

Josh

I told her we were commissioning a poll to explore attitudes towards subsurface agricultural products.

Leo

Subsurface agricultural - What the hell?

Josh

Underground. We think Americans are eating more beets.

Leo

What do you want from me?

Josh

Thirty million dollars.

Leo

No.

Leo

We're not going to stop, soften, detour, postpone, circumvent, obfuscate or trade a single one of our goals to allow for whatever extracurricular nonsense is coming our way in the next days, weeks and months.

Toby

When did we decide this?

Leo

Just now.

Leo

Charlie?

Charlie

Leo, there was an accident at 18th and Potomac. Mrs. Landingham was driving her car back here.

Leo

What happened?

Charlie

There was a drunk driver and they ran the light at 18th and Potomac. They ran it at a high speed.

Leo

Charlie, is she all right?

Charlie

No...She's dead.

Leo

[a bit hoarse] Is he alone?

Charlie

Yeah.

Mr. President, can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?

Bartlet

I'm sorry, Sandy, there was a bit of noise there, could you repeat the question?

Can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?

Leo

Watch this...

Leo

What have you got?

C.J.

Nothing. And you know why?

Leo

Rollins likes us.

C.J.

I don't know if he likes us, but he doesn't hate us.

Leo

Well, that's just because he doesn't know us.

C.J.

Leo, we need to be investigated by someone who wants to kill us just to watch us die. We need someone perceived by the American people to be irresponsible, untrustworthy, partisan, ambitious, and thirsty for the limelight. Am I crazy, or is this not a job for the U.S. House of Representatives?

Bartlet

They're going to miss hot pumpkin soup with a cheese gnocchi and a chèvre brioche.

Leo

Yeah.

Bartlet

That's a pretty big price to pay just to override my veto.

Sultan Bin Abu Azir ain't what he used to be. Last time I was in Kuwait he gave me a gold-inlaid Gadara sword originating from the Bin Hamar tribe.

Leo

What'd you get this time?

Nothing.

Leo

Wanna go down to the Situation Room, blow 'em off the face of the earth?

Leo

We've got to meet with Albie.

Leo

You'll be fine.

Bartlet

I've got to tell him I lost a submarine. Can I make something up like say 'what if a friend of mine hypothetically...'