You guys are like Butch and Sundance peering over the edge of a cliff to the boulder-filled rapids 300 feet below, thinking you better not jump 'cause there's a chance you might drown. The President has this disease and has been lying about it, and you guys are worried that the polling might make us look bad? It's the fall that's gonna kill ya.
“The Fall's Gonna Kill You” · Season 2
In this episode: Josh Lyman (2), Leo McGarry (2), Josiah Bartlet (1), Toby Ziegler (1), C.J. Cregg (1), Sam Seaborn (1), Charlie Young (1), Donna Moss (1)
I told her we were commissioning a poll to explore attitudes towards subsurface agricultural products.
Subsurface agricultural - What the hell?
Underground. We think Americans are eating more beets.
A thing the size of a garbage truck is gonna be in a two-thousand-mile-an-hour free fall and no one knows where it's gonna hit!
I'm rooting for Zurich.
Charlie?
I've had it up to here with the Swiss.
What do you want from me?
Thirty million dollars.
No.
My wife and I are fighting battles on several fronts, including with each other.
He calls you and me the Batman and Robin of speech-writing.
Well, I don't think he does...
He doesn't, but he should, 'cause that's what we are.
Okay.
We're Batman and Robin!
Which one's which?
Look at me, Sam. Am I Robin?
I'm not Robin.
Yes, you are.
Okay, well, let's move off this.
You bet, little friend.
Listen, we're really not Batman and Robin.
No, we'll keep those identities secret. I'm Bruce Wayne, and you're my ward...
Toby...
...Dick something.
"Are you not able to recognize a standard medical history form when it is put in front of your face?"
I didn't read it! I didn't think it was important!
What else have you signed without thinking it was important? Prescriptions?
No!
Patient instructions?
No!
Oh, so just this?
Oliver, I am not an expert in the diseases of the central nervous system, but I can tell you that MS is not hereditary. The President's condition has absolutely no relevance to Zoey's health status.
Well, now you're changing your story, Mrs. Bartlet.
No, I'm not.
Did you sign it because you were absent-minded or did you sign it because you knew best?
I signed it 'cause...I just signed it...It was a form...And I think making a big thing out of it is what makes it into a big thing!
Really?
And I'm not a hundred percent sure that that's not what you're going for.
Why would I want to make it a big thing?
Because defending the President in primetime looks good on a resume.
Well, I've got a pretty good-looking resume already, Mrs. Bartlet. And it's not a big thing because I say so, ma'am; it's a big thing. You're gonna get all the questions I just asked you, and quite a few more. And then they're gonna ask the President if he was in the room when you signed it. And that's when he's gonna give everyone's favorite answer from a President who has just announced that he has MS: "I. DON'T. REMEMBER."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.