The Suite Life on Deck · Season 1
So.. are you boys... Pardon me, are you men ready for a crazy guys weekend?
Oh yeah!
Nothing but late nights, piles of junk food, hanging out by the pool scoping out the hot-
[Carey appears]
Mom?!
Hot moms?
Surprise!
Oh, my back is killing me. Cheap Charlies started their own airlines. They cut fares by eliminating frivolous amenities like seats and bathrooms...
So why don't the boys and I go have some guy fun while you rest up?
Yeah sweet!
I get it. I crashed your guys' weekend.
No no.
Not at all.
Maybe a little.
Totally.
Mr. Moseby, it's so good to see you.
Ah. Here's your bill.
I haven't even checked in yet.
Mmm. It's for everything the boys have broken since they've been on board.
[reads the list] An anchor? Zack, how do you break an anchor?
Why do you always assume it was me? [Carey puts hand on hip] Okay it was me. In my defense, I was trying to impress a girl ....it worked.
[Zack and Kurt laugh]
[to Kurt] You think it's so funny? Here. You pay for it.
[reads the list] How do you break a propeller?
Easy, you drop an anchor on it.
Moseby, it's your birthday? Wait, you have a birthday?? Since when???
Pretty much since the day I was born. Hence the term birth-day.
Oh, I never put that together. So, how old are you?
Now, age is but a number.
I have a feeling I can't count that high.
Well that's just the cherry on top of the birthday cake I didn't get.
Awww, who's a sad birthday boy. Don't worry Moseby, I'm going to get you the best present ever. What size pony do you ride?
I don't ride ponies.
I know, they can be pretty scary.
Happy Birthday Moseby. I hope you love it. I'm sorry I couldn't find any wrapping paper, so I wrapped it in hundred dollar bills.
I love it already.
What do you do for a living?
[sarcastic] I'm a ventriloquist!
Do you have a dummy?
Oh, yes I do.
[taking notes] Favorite song?
[gasps] My heavens!
Likes gospel music. Favorite animal?
Zack!
A combination of a zebra and a yak.
Favorite play?
Go away.
Favorite movie?
Go away.
Based on the play?
Please go away!
Is that the sequel?
[screams]
[taking notes] Screams like a girl.
Cody, you're smart. I have a question about outer space.
(pointing upward) It's up there.
This page is blank
Exactly.
(Throwing the paper to Cody)
Ever hear of recycling?
That's why I threw it at you. Now sit back, relax, and let your mind go blank.
Are you practicing your kicking?
No... Those are the jets.
The jets have toenails? You're training!
(after the other people guess what was inside her package from home)
Mulch.
Mulch?
Rotted vegetables and wood chips. (sniffles the mulch) I think I'm gonna cry.
Does it smell that bad?
No, it smells like home. This is the first year I'm missing the Kettlecorn mulch festival.
Let me guess: you were Miss Junior Mulch. (laughs)
Three years running! This year I would have been a shoo-in for Corn Queen. (crying) I miss home!
Help! Help! There's a tiny injured be-sparkled man on the lose!
Nurse Frightengale said every time you call to check on the ship, it spikes your blood pressure.
So do you, but she let you in.
Cody, this is going to be the best date ever.
Date?
Oh, yeah. [kisses Cody]
Excuse me, a second. [walks to the balcony] Yes! My six month plan worked!
Either I need a softer coconut or a harder straw.
Something tells me that the coconut hit you on the head.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Suite Life on Deck pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
