Why do I have to ride the hump?
Well, you could have driven back with Muriel in the other car.
Did I mention how much I love the hump?
Well, I hope you love your room, because that's where you're going to be until you're old enough to drive!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Daddy bought me a car to practice on. My friend Porscha is going to teach me.
Do you mean the young lady who drove her father's yacht through piers 10, 11, and 12?
She was putting on sunscreen.
Zack, you're gonna miss your brother, too, aren't ya?
Like a slow-healing scab.
[Zack is trying to call Cody about getting a high-score on a video game he was playing]
[on cell phone answering machine] Hi. This is Cody using my mother's cellphone. Leave a message, and remember: numbers are your friend.
Why don't you ever answer this thing?!
[about Cody going to math camp] Ooh. Sounds like heaven. Your going as well?
No way! I told the teacher you couldn't pay me to spend 2 weeks with a bunch of math geeks.
Was that before or after you flunked your math test?
I'll have you know, I flunked that math test purposely just to get away from you.
Oh yeah? And who are you avoiding with your "D" in English?
[Zack starts chasing Cody]
Okay, first thing's first. Have you adjusted your mirrors?
All three of them. And I can see myself perfectly.
No no no they're not for vanity. Your rear-view mirrors are for seeing the view to your rear.
[London looks at her butt]
Not your behind, behind you.
But I won't be able to see myself having fun.
Driving a motor vehicle is not fun, it's serious business. Have you buckled your seat-belt?
I was going to, but this outfit just wrinkles so easily so I thought-
Just do it.
But my outfit-
IT'S THE LAW!
Are you familiar with the gear shift?
You mean the PRNDL? [PRNDL pronounced "prindle"]
The what?
The PRNDL.
Are you referring to the shift lever that says P-R-N-D-L?
I'm not a child, Moseby, I know how to spell PRNDL.
It's not something that you spell, it is a gear shift. The letters stand for Park, Reverse, Neutral, Drive, and Low!!
You're making me nervous with all this technical talk!
Oh! I'm sorry. Why don't we just relax and turn on the radio? Would you like AMMM or FMMM?!
I have a calculator that runs on moonlight.
Oh, let's find out how rich I am!
Maddie, guess where moi is off to?
Hopefully French class to learn another word than "moi".
No. I'm going to the D.M.V. to get my learner's permit.
You're gonna learn to drive?!
Oh, it's easy! I've been watching my chauffeur do it for years! But I have to pass their silly test first! Here. [puts a packet on the counter] Quiz me, candy girl.
Okay. Oh, here's one. [reading from the packet] "When is it acceptable to park near a red curb?"
Well, if I'm wearing green, never. It would clash! Oh, unless it's Christmas!
You're gonna do great! GO!
Moseby, have you heard the good news?
Yes. One of the twins is gone for 2 weeks. It's like falling in love.
I've got to get up to that camp!
Oh! I can drive you!
What?!
I'll show Moseby how well I can do without him! C'mon!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there, big girl! You just drove through a building!
But there are no buildings on the highway.
True, but there are other cars and big trucks, and the occasional cute deer! This is not a good idea.
You're not going to tell anyone are you?
Well only if you do it.
GRAB HER!!!
[Zach and London grab Maddie and drag her out the door past Esteban]
You saw nothing!
Okay, have fun!
Now Muriel, are you sure you have a valid license?
Oh, loosen up sweetcheeks you're bumming us out!
London, can't you drive any faster than 20 miles per hour?!
Why?
Because we're on an interstate and people are passing us on bicycles.
I just want to get there and back in one piece!
I just wanna get there and back before I'm 30!
[when the police pulls them over] Uh-oh! It's the fuzz! Everyone act natural.
How does someone who was forced in the middle of the night to drive down a busy interstate at 10 miles an hour act natural?!
You can start by shutting your yap!
PPolice Officer
Excuse me, miss?
Officer, what's the matter? It's not like I was speeding.
PPolice Officer
I'll say! Usually when I pull over sports cars it's cause they're going too fast. But to catch you I had to down-shift into first.
She's still learning how to drive so give her a break flat foot!
PPolice Officer
Tell you what, since you're a beginner I'll let you off with a warning. But driving slow can be dangerous too so in the future, go faster.
Don't worry, I'm teaching her. Floor it baby!!
Oh, I love the rush of the road, the wind in my hair.
How about the bugs in your teeth?!
Well, if you'd keep your yap shut like I told you to, you wouldn't have that problem!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Suite Life of Zack & Cody pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.