We were drivin' south and the sun's settin' there.
What good's that do us?
At least we know what direction we're headed.
Yeah but we're still fuckin' lost.
We're not lost. Stop gettin' cunty.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You think we're diggin' a hole. That's right shithead, get to work. I know the ground's kinda hard, but give it some of that Siberian action.
VValery
Ya sech pubyuvyal sukye. (Cocksuckers, I'll kill you both.)
Shut up!
VValery
Vishto davitzishtov na chaladna. (You think the cold bothers me?) No...dvam colodna. Amenya niet. (I wash my balls with ice water!) Ya payatsiev caladeeva deechadyeel. (This is warm.) Amerikozeh Sronye. (You American pieces of shit.) Poo! [Valey spits]
Fuck's he sayin'?
Who gives a shit? Keep diggin'. Not that it matters now. We didn't come to your house to kill ya! That mouth o' yours. You gotta learn to shut the fuck up.
I think he's dyin'.
Must've cracked his windpipe. That's it for him.
What, are you a fuckin' doctor now? What're we gonna do?
[over the phone] It's a bad connection so I'm gonna talk fast; the guy you're looking for is an ex-commando. He killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed!
Get the fuck outta here...
Yeah, nice huh? He was with the Interior Ministry, guy's some kinda Russian Green Beret. This guy cannot come back to tell this story, you understand?!
I hear ya.
[connection breaking up] I'm serious, Paulie!
Tone? Tone, you there?
Ah, d- FUCK! CALL ME BACK!
[Paulie hangs up and turns to Christopher]
You’re not gonna believe this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator!
...His house looked like shit!
I can't believe it. I fuckin' loved that car.
Probably kids or somethin'.
What if it was the guy?
You got the money.
It was in the car.
It's all I asked you ta do Paulie.
Sorry T, it couldn't be helped. Guy fuckin' lunged at us. [Chris nods yes] Listen Tone, I know I fucked up, but-
It's okay, really. Just forget it.
What do ya think? Wanna look fer this guy or what?
You tell me. Is it worth it?
I hit 'im in the head Tone. I saw it with my own eyes.
Is it possible this fuck made it outta here alive?
It's hard to say. Flesh wound maybe. Head shot, I dunno. On the other hand, anything's possible.
[to Paulie] You're a captain. What do you wanna do?
Fuck it. Lets go home.
Alright. But lets be clear on this right now. This cocksucka crawls out from under a rock, he's your problem, not mine. You deal with Slava, you take the heat. You pay the price. Capice?
Fine.
[Christopher is urinating by the van]
Ohhhh! Do that by yer own window, I don't wanna smell yer piss!
Fuck you.
What'd you say?
You heard me.
Don’t make me pull rank on you kid.
Fuck you, Paulie. Captain or no Captain, right now we're just two assholes lost in the woods.
Do yerself a favor, Chrissy and go back to fuckin' sleep.
Why? So you can choke me?
What?
Think I'm stupid? [Paulie opens the van door] I heard ya on the phone tryin' to blame this on me.
Fuck you talkin' about?
You fucked up with the Russian prick, now you're worried about Tony. You wait till I'm asleep then you'll choke me so he'll just have your version.
Choke ya right now, you fuck!
[Paulie lunges at Christopher, who pulls his gun out]
I'll leave you here, you one-shoe cocksucker!
Put it down Chrissy.
You know how fast I can run, I'll leave you in the fuckin' dust!
All the shit we’ve been through, you think I’ll really kill you?
Yeah, I do.
[After a tense moment, Christopher laughs and backs off]
Promise me you won't leave me here.
I'm not gonna leave ya.
Since we're kickin' up, we were hopin' you could, you know, watch our back?
350 buys you a hello. Watchin' your back...that's gonna require a little more initiative on your part.
Tell me Romeo, now that ya moved back home, are you gonna be humpin' Tony Soprano's little girl on our couch?
JAJackie Aprile, Jr.
Fuck her. Tony, too, with his stay-in-school bullshit. He coulda reached out to somebody at Rutgers.
He should break the Dean's legs 'cause you're too lazy ta read a fuckin' book?
What's a matter, you don't like me?
Gloria Trillo: Look, I'm not back in ten minutes, they call the cops, standard operating procedure.
(pulls out his gun) Here's some standard operating procedure. Stay the fuck away from Tony Soprano.
[Gloria tries to protest]
Shut the fuck up, and listen. It's over. Capisce? Over and done. You call, or go anywhere near him or his family and they'll be scraping your nipples off these fine leather seats. And here's the point to remember: my face is the last one you'll see, not Tony's. We understand each other? It won't be cinematic.
There was this old, old moustache named Feech La Manna. Now what the hell Feech meant, who the fuck knows, but he was made on the other side, so you know, he was an original.
He was an O.G.!
Whatever.
PRPizza Restaurant Owner
Guys, if you're gonna smoke, take it outside. (Spanish customers ignore the owner)
JAJackie Aprile, Jr.
Fuck's the matter? You don't speak English?
SCSpanish Customer 1
Who the fuck are you?
The owner's a dear friend of ours, that should be enough for you.
SCSpanish Customer 2
Fuck him too! (Dino slaps the shit out of the 2nd Spanish customer)
JAJackie Aprile, Jr.
What'd you fuckin' say! (pulls out a gun)
SCSpanish Customer 3
Whoah...Whoah! Chill Chill!!
SCSpanish Customer 1
Relax!!!
PRPizza Restaurant Owner
Jackie...what are ya doin'?!
It's alright, it's under control.
JAJackie Aprile, Jr.
Go find a fuckin' Taco Bell before I cap your asses.
The fuck outta here!!!
"Permanent expulsion". I prayed I would never see this.
Even I managed to get through school without getting expelled. You know, maybe it's a... blessing.
Well, I don't see how that could be.
The place was too loose, it was too easy.
How could you say that? I got expelled.
YOU GOT NOTHING TO SAY 'TIL I TELL YOU! UNLESS I ASK YOU A DIRECT QUESTION!
Tony...!
I work hard all day to pay for this six thousand-square foot house, big-screen TVs, food on the table, video games, all kinds of scooters and bicycles, Columbia University, AND FOR WHAT?! TO COME HOME TO THIS?!
Sucks to be you...
[Tony slaps AJ. Carmela is shocked and horrified]
My God, Tony!
[AJ runs off]
There's more where that came from, we're starting a new regime around here!
The school guidance counselor said this might be a cry for help!
Aw c'mon, will ya?!
She recommended a school in New Brunswick, Burnwood Day; it's for troubled kids, it has a psychologist right on staff.
No. No more fuckin' schools that coddle him, he's going to military school.
What?!
That's right, I got some brochures.
You got school brochures?
Yeah, from Janice; she was gonna send Harper there but she didn't have the money and it was too fuckin' late!
I'm not sending him away
We're looking at those brochures!
I tell ya one thing though, I'm not gonna make the same mistake with AJ. He got expelled. Him we're sendin' to military school.
You know, we never discussed exactly what you want for your children.
I don't want 'em to end up in Boonton with their face blown off...
KAKelli Aprile
My brother's whole stupid pathetic dream was to follow in our father's footsteps. What, I got to paint a picture? He was killed by some fat fuck in see-through socks. Take your pick, they all look alike.
You're late.
Well, tomorrow I could be on time, but you'll be stupid forever.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Sopranos pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.