Did you ever know anybody that uh...ever committed suicide?
Plenty. I used to live in Seattle, Tony.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
The cobwebs are now removed.
The fuck are ya talkin' about?!
You saw this whole thing, didn't you? You knew exactly what was gonna happen. You can see twenty moves down the road. Please...I don't blame you, I envy you. It's like an instinct, like a hawk sees a little mouse movin' around a corn field from a mile up.
You think it's my fault you're fuckin' lyin' in here?
It's just that somebody mentions fifty grand, to bankroll a French digestif, and your mind goes through all the permutations at like, internet speed and realizes, "Oh, worst case scenario, I eat for free."
You fuckin' suicide. You're disgraceful!
I'm sorry.
Nah, fuck that!!! Does anybody else know it was me that loaned you the money?
Like who?
Like who? I don't give a fuck who. Adriana, Father Intintola, my wife...anybody? (Artie nods no) Alright...ya...ya...ya got mugged. Outside o' yer house. It was a street crime. Kids, they took yer wallet and yer watch. Where are they?
Why?
Come on! (Tony takes Artie's belongings) Why? You don't care what people think. Well, I do. Enough people hate me! You fought back. They ripped yer earrin' outta yer ear, you were bleedin', you went inside yer house, you...you took a bunch o' pills to kill the pain 'cuz you knew you'd have to wait at the emergency room for a couple o' hours.
Ton', they pumped my stomach, they saw the almanac.
You got fuckin' mugged. Do you understand me? I didn't loan you shit!
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
Oh...it's you. Hello. Come in.
Jean-Philippe, yer home. Qu'est-ce que c'est, man? Message machine broken?
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
l'm sorry, I...l've been wishing to call you...I...
Nice crib. You were supposed to give me my money two days ago.
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
I know. Credit Lyonnais, they didn't come through with the second round of financing yet. My partners are sick about it.
Well, that's not my problem Jean-Philippe, I want my money.
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
I just told you. I don't have it.
Well, when are you gonna get it?
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
I don't know okay. I don't know. Doesn't look too good.
Whoah...whoah...whoah...whoah...what does that...what does that mean?!
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
I mean, I don't know if its going to happen alright. They...they were not convinced we are a business model. They didn't agree there was as much potential for almanac. The problem has been it seems that people cannot figure out how to market almanac. The hip approach like with Stoli, fails.
You said it was the next vodka!!!
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
Hey, so we are big boys, we must move on.
Frog eatin' fuckin' faggia di cazz'.
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
What did you say?
I said I want my money!!
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
Are you stupid? That money spent. Operating expenses, notaires, travel.
No. You have my fifty thousand dollars.
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
It's business. It's a risk.
I have a daughter who needs braces.
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
Listen to me, I don't have it right now.
You fuckin' French fuckin' lyin' cocksucka!!! (Artie starts to fight with Jean-Philippe)
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
Fuck to your mother! Sale rital... (Jean-Philippe rips off Artie's earring)
My earrin'!! You ripped my fuckin' ear!
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
Du con.
Ow! I want my money.
JPJean-Philippe Colbert
Fuck you. If I see you again, I'll kill you. (Jean-Philippe throws Artie out.)
(Talking to himself in the mirror) Oh! Jean-Philippe! Yer home. I called ya five times. Qu'est-ce Que C'est?...Message machine broken? Nice crib. Whazzat uh...Berber carpet? Those, uh... fuckin' shoes you wear, what are they, uh... designer? Hmm? You fuckin' avoiding' me mother fucker? Where’s my money? Oh, what are you gonna cry now, Huh? Stand up you frog–eating Faccia de Gatz'. I will fuck you up!
So, over the next couple of years, more and more, I'm gonna be givin' my orders through you and then finally...only through you.
But what about Sil, you got that with him...and Paulie.
Those other guys, Sil...Paulie, there's one thing they're not...they're not my blood. You hear what I'm sayin' to you. It's a matter of trust.
It's very wise
Assemblyman Ronald Zellman: The heart wants what the heart wants I guess.
Heart also wants what the dick wants.
What can I get you Paulie?
After four months inside? How 'bout laid?
Oh! It's Papillon. (To Paulie)
Oh, hello Sil! How are ya?
I heard you were gettin' laid up there all the time.
Come here, you little prick. Hello, Chrissy. (Paulie hugs Chris)
What if we didn't have kids?
Fuck that. What's the point of bein' married?
I mean, what if we can't? If I can't...would you still love me?
'Course I'd still love ya...why?
There's something you should know. A long time ago, years ago, I had a medical procedure. It was before we met. My uterus got pierced.
Both of 'em?
There's only one. That's ovaries.
So, what does that mean, you can't get pregnant?
Well, my doctor said it might be hard. A friend of mine gave me the name of a specialist in Manhattan.
You knew you were damaged goods and you never fuckin' told me!?
How could you call me that?
Jesus fuckin' Christ, how could ya lie to me like that!
I tried to tell you once. I wanted to. I was afraid that you wouldn't propose.
You don't get it, Adriana, I don't have a son, the Moltisanti name ends, that's it!
We could adopt.
Yeah, that's great! Some kid with chinky eyes called Moltisanti! He'd get his ass kicked every day!
You said you'd still love me.
That doesn't mean I'll fuckin' marry you!
ARAssemblyman Ronald Zellman
Tony! What's goin' on? What's up? (Tony removes his belt) Look, why don't you just calm down and...
I'm perfectly calm.
ARAssemblyman Ronald Zellman
Well, we can talk about whatever is botherin' you.
Yeah?
ARAssemblyman Ronald Zellman
Tony, this is crazy... ah, Tony, Tony! (Tony beats Zellman with his belt) Come on...fuck!
Tony, no!
ARAssemblyman Ronald Zellman
Ow! Tony, ow, Tony! Ow!
All the girls in New Jersey, you had ta fuck this one? Go ahead, cry like a bitch.
I like my drinks with extra olives. You should know how your regular customers like their drinks.
My regular customers are the ones who pay.
Three thousand dollars.
How'd you come up with that figure?
It's a number that I thought you'd say yes to.
You thought right.
So, what have you heard?
You pay me three thousand dollars, I'll answer your questions.
He bottoms from the top.
I don't even know what that means...
Means...he has to control things but he pretends he doesn't. Like he'd make me fuck him with a strap on and call him my bitch...shit like that.
What about plain old fuckin'?
I'm tellin' you, he can't get hard that way, and if he could, I don't think that he'd want to.
Valentina La Paz: Like last night, I just wanted him to fuck me, just so I could get back at you, but all he wanted me to do was drip candle wax on his balls and then he went into the bathroom and jerked himself off...now I don't call that having sex with someone.
VLValentina La Paz
Besides, it's good luck.
What?
VLValentina La Paz
It's good luck to step in horse shit. Ask any horse person.
LPLois Pettit
It's true.
Then why aren't you people walkin' around all day lookin' for piles o' horse shit to stomp around in?
LPLois Pettit
It only works if it's an accident.
Fuckin' sick, all o' yous. Fucko, where's the hose?
I don't understand. When I was a kid, you two were old ladies. Now I'm old, and you two are still old.
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