Did you get any nice presents?
Oh… well…
I got her some potpourri.
Mm.
Lovely! What scent?
Oh, it doesn't smell.
[Shakes her head, smiling]
So… just some dead leaves in a bowl?
Yep.
[Nods her head, still smiling enthusiastically]
S1 E8Happy Birthday
Do you know who's never really caught my eye before? Robin. And I don't know why really, I mean, he is…
Male.
Yeah…
Aww, Lils, this party is…
Rubbish. I know. No music! Bloody Sharon sucking the life out of the place.. I've had more fun at a wake!
Yeah, Tess Pownell's husband's was banging. Every track they played I was like, "tune!"
Mm. I think she regrets the disco now. She was in shock.. She freely admits the bouncy castle was misjudged.
No way, best bit!
Honestly Lois, my little boy will be up to your waist!
D'you wanna make something of it?
[Frightened] No.
I can't help being small, like I don't suppose you can help being boring, but you don't have to insult me!
[Lois continues ranting in the background as other conversations are shown]
I've had this all my life: "Oi, diddy woman, why aren't you at the circus?" I'm a secretary, and what do they expect me to do, sit on a trapeze and TYPE!?
[Cowering up against the wall] Don't know.
[…]
YYvonne
[Marching into the room clapping to get everyone's attention] Ok, so.
[to Heidi] So if you ever mention my size again, I'll knock your TWO FRIGGING EYES INTO ONE!
YYvonne
LOIS! Thank you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Smoking Room pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.