[Janet is looking out the window at the pouring rain as Barry enters the room behind her]
Is this still about the suggestion box, Janet? Because, you know, if you didn't really want constructive advice, you should never have introduced it!
[Confused] I was talking about the rain. [Angrily] Although, I wanted suggestions for fun social events, not personal attacks!
Aww, did he have a go at your frumpy clothes?
No . He said my short temper and abrasive manner only serve to…
You try doing my job! See how many smiles you crack!
[Reading from the crossword] Unidentified flying object. 3 letters.
Yes. Unidentified flying object. 3 letters. I know it's not flying saucer…
No, it's UFO. That's the answer. Unidentified flying object, 3 letters. The answer's UFO.
But that's the same thing!
That's, more or less, how crosswords work.
D'you really think there is intelligent life out there somewhere?
As long as they're friendly, like E.T. or the ones that used to sell mashed potato.
Ooh, lots of sandwiches there, Barry!
You've made yourself too many!
G Gordon
I think, with it being a rainy lunch hour, there might be one or two non-smokers stopping by here. Hey! I wonder who'll end up outnumbering who? [Miming flamboyantly] Smokers… or non-smokers ? Cause there's me and Janet from the healthy brigade now, and you… you five puffers from the home side. But! Who'll be next, through the door !
G Gordon
A smoker, or a non-smoker?
[Awkward pause when he realises Gordon is looking at him] Smoker.
G Gordon
Ding! Bernie, who'll be next in?
G Gordon
Does Barry smoke?
G Gordon
Ding! Three votes for a smoker. Len?
I couldn't give a monkey's.
G Gordon
Should I make it a non-smoker, just to spice things up?
You could make it a fucking crack addict for all I care!
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Smoking Room pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
