Hey, Springfield! Are you suffering from the heartbreak of...Monster-itis? Then take a tip from Mr. Paul Anka!
[singing] To stop these monsters 1-2-3, Here's a fresh new way that's trouble free, It's got Paul Anka's guarantee...
[singing] Guarantee void in Tennessee.
[singing] Just don't look! Just don't look! [people turn away: the monsters turn to look] Just don't look! Just don't look! [more people turn away] Just don’t look! Just don’t look! [the monsters try to destroy things faster, but start collapsing. Paul Bunyon falls on the Springfield General Hospital, his ox Babe destroys the birthplace of Jebediah Springfield, and a flying magic carpet destroys the birthplace of Norman Vincent Peale.]
It worked! They're all dead.
Well, except for chubsy-ubsy over there.
[everyone turns and gasps and Lard Lad tempts Homer with the giant donut]
Mmm...sprinkles.
Homer! Stop looking.
Don't make us poke your eyes out, Dad. [they drag him away]
[groaning] Oh!
[Lard Lad collapses, he falls, his donut rolls away. Kodos and Kang, meanwhile, are trying to hitch a ride in the middle of the desert with a sign saying "Earth Capital"]
Here comes something!
Remember the story: we're newlyweds on our way to Earth Capital. [the donut rolls by as Kang smiles] Oh, Shazbot.
Even as I speak, the scourge of advertising could be heading toward your town! Lock your doors, bar your windows, because the next advertisement you see could destroy your house and eat your family!
We'll be right back.
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