“The Last Temptation of Krust” · Season 9
In this episode: Homer Simpson (3), Bart Simpson (3), Marge Simpson (3), Lisa Simpson (2), Krusty the Clown (2), Moe Szyslak (1), Barney Gumble (1)
Uh-huh. Charity, eh? What's my cut? Nothing? I make more than that takin' a schvitz. Hey-hey, happy birthday. Now get 'em outta here.
He seems reluctant.
Tell him it will count towards his community service.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. All right, I'll do it. [groans] Boy, swipe one pair of Haggar slacks and you're payin' for it the rest of your life.
[Moe is presenting Krusty's return to comedy]
Hi, how're you folks doin'? I'm Moe, or as the ladies like to call me, "hey you, behind the bushes". [the audience doesn't respond]; [Moe taps on the microphone] Is this thing on?
No. Sorry, Moe. [Turns on the microphone]
Heh heh heh, from now on, I'm gonna be just like Krusty and tell it like it is. Marge, you're getting a little fat around the old thighs!
Dad!
You too, Bart!
Oh, knock it off, Homer; you're the fattest one in the car!
[shocked] You didn't have to tell it like it is, Marge.
Oh, look! This is the perfect chance to get you kids some nice church shoes!
[Bart and Lisa sigh]
What do we need church shoes for, Jesus wore sandals.
Well, maybe if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him.
I finally got around to reading the dictionary...turns out the zebra did it.
[The crowd laughs]
I don't get it.
Dad, the zebra didn't do it, its just a word at the end of the dictionary.
I still don't get it.
It's just a joke.
Oooh! I get it! I get jokes. [Laughs]
Have you noticed how there are two phone books: a white one and a yellow one. What's the deal with that?
One's residential, the other is business.
Oh. Well, that makes sense. But what will they think of next? Blue Pages?
We have those. They're government listings.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
