Testing. [2 megaphones] Testing. [looks at the megaphones on the wall 5 times] Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hey. [devilish laughing; sets up 15 megaphones on chairs; fly buzzing; licks his lips] TESTING! [causes big sound wave explosion; echoing voice] TESTING, TESTING, TESTING, TESTING, TESTING, TESTING, TESTING, TESTING, TESTING, TESTING, TESTING, TESTING!
[The soundwave causes the car alarms to go off, break the pet store window into pieces, which causes the birds to screech and saying "Testing!", break the fish tank which causes the octopus cling onto Professor Fink, and break the Duff Beer bottles which causes to Homer scream in despair, After Bart caused feedback from the massive sound wave unleashed on the town]
[berating Bart] YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME, BART!!! YOU'RE IN FOR THE PUNISHMENT OF A LIFETIME!!!
WHEN DO YOU EXPECT THE RINGING WILL STOP?!
[checks his watch] IN ABOUT...10 TO 15 SECONDS!
I CERTAINLY HOPE SO! [gasps as the feedback stops] That's better. [Maggie takes 2 pacifiers as ear plugs out of her ears; to Bart] Now about your punishment, young man.
I know. I'll go to my room and think about what I did.
[stops him] Oh, no! Your room is full of toys! You're going to the, uh... garage!
FRFiring range Instructor
Since you attended public school, I'm gonna assume you're already proficient with small arms, so we're gonna start you with something a little more advanced. [hands Bart a MGL]
Ho-ho, baby! [fires off 5 grenades. 4 hit the targets, but the 5th flies off into the distance]
FRFiring range instructor
4 out of 5, Simpson. Impressive, but you missed your last target.
[Cut to a blackened and dumbstruck Principal Skinner, standing next to a smoking crater where his car used to be. Nelson watches in the background from the classroom window]
CCommandant
Traditionally, the academy tested these virtues by pitting you against each other in a two-day battle royale! [the cadets all gasp] That was prior to 1957, thank you very much, State Supreme Court. Consequently now, no cadet can receive a passing grade for the academic year without first conquering this. [points to a tightrope connected by two tall poles with thorn bushes underneath] Meet...The Eliminator. That's a 150-foot hand-over-hand crawl across a 60-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister factor of 12. The rope is suspended a full 40 feet over a solid British acre of old-growth Connecticut Valley thorn bushes. Gentlemen, welcome to flavor country.
This wasn't in the brochure.
