Turn it down! We don't want to wake up Mom & Dad!
“In Marge We Trust” · Season 8
In this episode: Homer Simpson (4), Bart Simpson (2), Marge Simpson (2), Reverend Timothy Lovejoy (2), Lisa Simpson (1), Moe Szyslak (1), Ned Flanders (1)
Oh, I'd love to go with you honey, but I got a lot of work to do around the bed.
Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week.
Well in that case he should've made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.
And the very same goes for Ezekiel, which brings us back to our starting point, The Nine Tenets of Constancy.
[yawns and hits his head on the back of the bench] DAMN IT!!! [the churchgoers gasp]
[sternly clears throat] I seem to have lost my place, so I'll start over.
MMoe
Oh, for the love of crumb cake!
AAkira
[on phone] Hai. Hai. Hai. Bye. [turns to Homer] Hi!
[hands Akira a detergent box] Akira, can you read this for me?
AAkira
Ah, yes. This is a product called Mr. Sparkle, very popular dish detergent. [points at the mascot on the box] Hey, he looks like you! [laughs]
What's he saying?
AAkira
He identifies himself as a magnet for foodstuffs. He boasts that he will banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts.
Wow!
AAkira
Yes, you have very lucky dishes, Mr. Simpson. This soap is from the sacred forest of Hokkaidō, renowned for its countless soap factories.
Hokkaidō, eh?
There's your answer, fish-bulb.
[pants, to the phone booth] The teens have been chasing me all night. [spies on the bullies] They finally stopped to gas up their scooters.
Ned, where are you?
I can't see the name of the station, but the gas costs eight-tenths.
[regaling his congregation of his fight with the monkeys at the zoo] Baboons to the left of me. Baboons to the right. The speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of the great apes rose up at me but -- bam, bam! -- I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me! [imitates hissing baboon] [quietly resolved] ...and that's when I got mad.
Now, that's religion!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.