“Last Exit to Springfield” · Season 4
In this episode: Homer Simpson (2), Bart Simpson (2), Mr. Burns (2), Marge Simpson (1), Lisa Simpson (1), Waylon Smithers (1), Grampa Simpson (1)
[Mr. Burns and Smithers watch Homer tear up the union contract on a hidden camera]
Who is that firebrand, Smithers?
That's Homer Simpson, sir.
Simpson, eh? New man?
Actually, sir, he thwarted your campaign for governor, you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown, his wife painted you in the nude...
...Eh, doesn't ring a bell.
Cool! She'll be a freak.
Bart!
We can stick her in a trailer, drive her around the South and charge two bits a gander.
We don't have to be adversaries, Homer! We both want a fair union contract!
[internally] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours!
Wait a minute... is he coming onto me?
I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
My God, he is coming onto me!
After all... negotiations make strange bedfellows! [chuckles, clicks his tongue and winks]
[screams]
[gets up] Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered – maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no!
Do you really think you can get our dental plan back?
Well, that depends on who's the better negotiator, Mr. Burns or me...
Dad, I'll trade you this delicious doorstop for your crummy old Danish.
Done and done!
[Mr. Burns has called in an elderly strikebreaking team led by Grampa Simpson.]
We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. [other strikebreakers mutter in agreement] One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville: I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because o' the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
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