[the lamp got knocked over] I am not cleaning that. Oh, who am I kidding?
“Homer Alone” · Season 3
In this episode: Marge Simpson (3), Patty (2), Homer Simpson (1), Bart Simpson (1), Lisa Simpson (1), Barney Gumble (1), Selma (1), Troy McClure (1)
[as Bart & Lisa were stuck inside Patty & Selma's station wagon]
Thanks again for taking the children while I'm away.
Don't worry about yourself. We've got six months of maternity leave so we'll never gonna use anyway.
Homer, can you bring Maggie out?
Lisa, you'll sleep in my bed. Bart, you'll be sleeping with your Aunt Patty.
...In your bed?
Uh-huh. And just a warning: I'm told I snore. [chuckles. Bart and Lisa quickly grab each other's hands] Oh! Divorce Court is on in five minutes!
[The sisters leave]
I'm scared, Lisa.
You think you know fear? Well, I've seen them naked!
[Bart screams]
[Marge, having taken part in all the activities at Rancho Relaxo, watches the resort's infomercial on the TV]
[standing with a sunset in the background] By now, you've seen all Rancho Relaxo has to offer...
Uh-huh.
But remember: we can't tell you how to have a good time. You have to tell us! As I said to Dolores Montenegro in Calling All Quakers: Have it your way, baby! [exits the picture via a hang glider]
[picks up phone] Hello, Room Service? I'd like a banana fudge sundae. With whipped cream! And some chocolate chip cheesecake. And a bottle of tequila!
Oh, man; you want a bad night? Try sleeping on one of these! [hands out a spiked shell]
[finding out Maggie disappeared from the crib] Barney, I've lost the baby! It's the worst thing I've ever done!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.