[The family is playing Scrabble]
My turn. Kwyjibo. K-W-Y-J-I-B-O, 22 points, plus triple word score, plus 50 points for using all my letters. Game's over, I'm outta here. [about to leave]
[grabs Bart's arm] Wait a minute, you little cheater! You're not going anywhere until you tell me what a kwyjibo is.
Kwyjibo. Uh... [looks at Homer, who lets go of his arm] a big, dumb, balding North American ape. With no chin.
[Homer is offended and angrily looks down at Bart more]
[turns red in anger] I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape! [angrily chases Bart]
Uh-oh! Kwyjibo on the loose!
[sees the writing on the school wall about him saying he's a wiener, but in an incorrect sentence] Whoever did this is in very deep trouble.
And a sloppy speller, too. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is W-I-E-N-E-R. Although, "I-E" is an acceptable ethnic variant.
Good point. Boys, let's see your hands. [checks Lewis's hands] Mm-hmm. [checks Milhouse's hands] Good. [checks Richard's hands] Clean. [goes to Bart] Simpson?
[Bart shows Skinner his red painted hands]
You might say you caught him red-handed.
Simpson, you and I are going to have a little talk.
Yes. In my office after school.
MLMilhouse, Lewis, and Richard
Ooh!
[Bart gulps]
[singing] Toreador, oh, don't spit on the floor. Please use the cuspidor. That's what it's for.
[Bart and Homer laughing]
Bart, stop fooling around. Homer, stop encouraging him.
Don't stifle the boy, Marge. We're supposed to encourage him.
No way a bull's gonna miss a target that big, man.
[Lisa, Bart, and their father laughing]
Dad, I got to tell you something, hope you won't be too mad.
I cheated on the intelligent test. I'm sorry. But I just wanna say that the past few weeks have been great! Me and you've done stuff together, you've helped me out with things, we're closer than we've ever been. I love you, dad, and I think if something can bring us that close, it can't possibly be bad.
[pauses; turns red in anger] Why you little...! [chases his son angrily]
What's going on out there?
I think Bart's stupid again, Mom.
[Bart runs into his room and closes the door]
[pounding on the door] You can't stay in there forever!
[locks the door] I can try!
[pounding] March your butt right out here! Now!
[hops on his bed] No way, man!
[continues pounding] Bart! I-! [stops himself with a crafty smile] Son, if you don't come out, I can't hug you and kiss you and make you feel all better.
[sits on his bed, reading comic books and drinking soda] You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that?! I'm insulted!
[Homer turns red, howls in rage and continues pounding at the door]
