Dad, I got to tell you something, hope you won't be too mad.
What is it, son?
I'm not a genius, dad.
What?
I cheated on the intelligent test. I'm sorry. But I just wanna say that the past few weeks have been great! Me and you've done stuff together, you've helped me out with things, we're closer than we've ever been. I love you, dad, and I think if something can bring us that close, it can't possibly be bad.
[pauses; turns red in anger] Why you little...! [chases his son angrily]
Uh-oh! [runs screaming]
What's going on out there?
I think Bart's stupid again, Mom.
Oh, well.
[Bart runs into his room and closes the door]
[pounding on the door] You can't stay in there forever!
[locks the door] I can try!
[pounding] March your butt right out here! Now!
[hops on his bed] No way, man!
[continues pounding] Bart! I-! [stops himself with a crafty smile] Son, if you don't come out, I can't hug you and kiss you and make you feel all better.
[sits on his bed, reading comic books and drinking soda] You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that?! I'm insulted!
[Homer turns red, howls in rage and continues pounding at the door]
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