Sarah JaneSo while I'm off getting my scoop, you'll be making lots of new friends at school. And don't worry. Rani will always be close by if you need her.
Sarah Jane
[angered] You keep away from him!
Sarah Jane
Just do as I say. Keep away from him. Don't go anywhere near him. Do you hear me?
[quietly] Yes, Sarah Jane.
Sarah Jane
I don't ever want to hear his name ever again.
Excuse me, but has Clyde upset you?
Sarah Jane
And that goes for you, too! In fact, I want you to put your sensors on a permanent scan for him. If he ever sets foot in Bannerman Road again, I want you to deal with him.
Sarah Jane
[in a barking manner] Sky, come on! School! [exits]
[Sky walks out of the attic slowly, in confusion.]
[Skullions underground controls the Joseph Serf hologram above ground, pulling cranks and typing, while Luke and Sky secretly watch]
HSHead Skullion
[commands a Skullion] Smile!
[The received-order Skullion pulls a crank labeled SMILE. The Serf hologram smiles, a little too long.]
Sarah Jane
Joseph, are you all right?
HSHead Skullion
Keep up, keep up! [Two Skullions fight over the typewriter, the Head Skullion groans] Keep up, keep up!
[One Skullion begins typing]
We all say thongs we don't moan.
[Sarah Jane becomes enstranged]
HSHead Skullion
Spelling, spelling!
[A Skullion continues typing]
Forgove me. Things we don't mean.
[Sarah Jane still curious]
HSHead Skullion
Keep trying to fix it. And smile again! [Skullion pulls a lever. Serf suddenly smiles at Sarah Jane flirtatiously. Sarah Jane winces, startled.] Frawful smile, not sexy smile!
HHarrison
So, before we go through to meet the SerfBoard, let's meet the man behind the SerfBoard. Joseph Serf.
[Audience claps]
HHarrison
Hahah-um.. Mr Joseph Serf.
[Audience claps while Rani looks puzzled]
HHarrison
Serf! [presses his earpiece] Now, now, now!
[Luke operates the levers controlling the hologram's legs]
Left leg, right leg, left leg, right leg.
[Joseph Serf walks to the stage as the audience claps once again]
LCLionel Carson
[to Rani] Fellow's been drinking!
[Harrison covers his lips as Joseph Serf settles himself]
[Sky types on the keyboard]
Welcome to my lovely lunch.
[The audience looks at each other in confusion]
[Joseph Serf raises his right hand and begins to raise his left]
[Joseph Serf mechanically rotates to look at his video on screen]
But he'll never say that!
Best thing I can think of!
[Joseph turns back to the audience]
What a beautiful day, boys and girls.
[Clyde and Rani look at each other]
Remember, he's American!.
Yeeeeehaw! [lifts his thigh and slaps it] As I woke up, put my bricks on the grittle, I thought gee, what a cotton picking day to launch a new computer.
Wha- what? You've been watching Toy Story again!
[Harrison reaches for his pen]
He's gonna use the pen! No!
[Harrison activates the pen and the Skullions begin to scream in pain]
It's hypnotic! We've got to turn off the hypno power!
[Luke pulls the hypno lever, turning the light below red]
Listen, everybody. I want you to grab the pen from Harrison. Grab the pen [points at Harrison] from him!
[Rani rushes to Harrison followed by the rest of the audience. Harrison holds Rani]
LCLionel Carson
She's not armed, leave her alone!
Smash it. Smash it! Smash it. Smash it.
[Audience shouts along as Lionel Carson smashes the pen with his shoe]
[The shock from the Skullions' collar stop]
Sarah Jane
It stopped.
Go home. The SerfBoard is rubbish! Box standard, cobblers, garbage! Go home, tell everyone!
LCLionel Carson
Of course it is. Stupid computers. Nothing wrong with a typewriter, says I.
It's one hundred percent toot. It's bobbins! It's trash. In fact, you think it's rubbish. Go home, tell everyone.
I've got a weird feeling about him.
[laughs and takes off her glasses] I knew it.
[points up] Go to the roof.
[Harrison runs away]
Bye Clani. [hologram disappears]
[Sarah Jane prepares to leave after being told the TARDIS has landed nearby]
But there are Daleks out there!
Sarah Jane
I know, I'm sorry... But I have got to find the Doctor! Stay here, don't move...Don't do anything!
I will protect the boy, Sarah Jane.
[Luke looks at Sarah Jane, worried]
Sarah Jane
[tearfully] I love you. Remember that.
Now, Sarah Jane, what was your son's name?
Sarah Jane
Luke! He's called Luke...And the computer's called Mr Smith!
Calling Luke and Mr Smith! This is the Doctor! [Luke looks up from where he's sitting] Come on, shake a leg!
Oh, she's fine and dandy!
Sarah Jane
[overjoyed] Yes!
Now, Mr Smith, I want you to harness the Rift power, and loop it round the TARDIS - You got that?
I regret I will need remote access to TARDIS basecode numerals.
[winces] Oh blimey, that's gonna take a while...
Sarah Jane
No, no! Let me! [runs up to the monitor] K-9! Out you come!
[K-9 materialises in the attic]
[laughs delightedly] Good dog! K-9, give Mr Smith the basecode!
Master. [connects to Mr Smith] TARDIS basecode now being transferred. The process is simple!
The Sarah Jane Adventures · 206 quotes
