Sarah Jane Smith quotes from The Sarah Jane Adventures

Sarah Jane

Kill me, by all means, but not the children! Don't you have any of your own?

Oh, no! Nasty little things! Profit is our progeny.

Sarah Jane

Isn't using the Earth for a fast buck more the Slitheen style?

How dare you! We're nothing like the Slitheen. We're much, much worse.

They lack our cunning, our vision, our good looks.

Mr Smith

How can I help you, Sarah Jane?

Sarah Jane

Scan Luke. He's been having dreams.

Mr Smith

I thought Luke didn't dream.

Sarah Jane

That's why I'm asking you to scan him.

Do you require everything to be pointed out to you Mr Smith?

Mr. Smith

If I were to connect to K9, I could boost his energy levels.

Sarah Jane

Oh! What do you need, Mr. Smith? I have stuff here from planets across the universe. Mind controlling devices, alien guns, you just tell me what you need!

Mr. Smith

[beat] I need a USB lead, Sarah Jane.

Sarah Jane

Why did I ever trust Androvax?

Rani

You were doing what you thought was right, we were trying to help him!

Clyde

Well, some people, you just can't help.

Sarah Jane

I think there's something wrong.

Wrong? You mean...as in, "Just like the old days" sort of wrong?

Sarah

Oh, exactly like the old days!

Groovy!

Sarah Jane

It's you, isn't it? Oh, you've done it again!

[smiles] Hello, Sarah Jane.

Sarah Jane

Doctor? [the Doctor nods]

Rani

[gapes] That's the Doctor?

What, Doctor? The Doctor?! My Doctor?!

Sarah Jane

Well, he can change his face-

Oh, I know...but into a baby's?

Oi, imagine it from my point of view! Last time I saw you Jo Grant, you were, what, twenty? Twenty-one? It's like someone baked you!

There and there.

Sarah Jane

[applies the sonic lipstick] Does it hurt?

No.

Sarah Jane

I mean the regeneration. That last body of yours, was he okay, I mean?

It always hurts. And there.

Sarah Jane

So how did you end up in this place?

The Shansheeth lured me; a mighty old battlefield just begging to be explored, 'cause I'm travelling with Amy Pond now, and Rory. Then they got married, so I dropped them off on a honeymoon planet, which isn't what you'd think; It's not a planet for a honeymoon, it's a planet on a honeymoon. It married an asteroid. [Sarah Jane and the Doctor laugh] And they nicked the TARDIS. The Shansheeth, not Amy and, err... Fortunately, I had all this wreckage to build a space swapping doodah-thingy-whatsit.

So you have a married couple in the TARDIS.

Mr and Mrs Pond!

I only left you because I got married.

[quietly, to Sarah Jane] And there.

Did you think I was stupid?

Why do you say that?

Well, I was a bit dumb; still am, I suppose.

[turning to face Jo] Now what in the world would make you think that, ever, ever, ever?

We had been travelling down the Amazon for months and we reached a village in Crystalline, and it was the only place in thousands of miles that has a telephone, so I called you; I just wanted to say hello. And they told me that you left, left U.N.I.T, never came back, so I waited and waited, because you said you would see me again; you did; I asked you and you said yes, you promised, so I thought one day I would hear that sound, deep in the jungle; I would hear that funny wheezing noise and a big blue box right in the middle of the rainforest, because you wouldn't just leave; not forever, not me. [starts to cry] I've waited my whole, silly life.

Oh, but you're an idiot.

Well, there we have it!

No, but don't you see? How could I ever find you? You've spent the past 40 years living in huts, climbing up trees, tearing down barricades. You've done everything from flying kites on Kilimanjaro to sailing down the Yangtze in a tea-chest. Not even the TARDIS could pin you down!

Hold on... I did sail down the Yangtze in a tea-chest! How did you know?

And that family! All 7 kids, 12 grandchildren, 13th on his way. He's dyslexic, but that'll be fine; great swimmer.

So you've been watching me? All this time?

No. Because you're right. I don't look back. I can't. But the last time I was dying, I looked back on all of you. Every single one. And I was so proud.

Listen to me, both of you. I want you to remember.

We are remembering - That's the trouble!

No no no no no no no. I want you to remember everything. Every single day with me. Every single second.

What's he doing?

Because your memories are more powerful than anything else on this planet. Just think of it, Sarah. Remember it, Jo. But properly. Properly. Give the Memory Weave everything. Every planet. Every face. Every mad man. Every loss. Every sunset. Every scent. Every terror. Every joy. Every Doctor. Every me.

Sarah Jane

I remember!

No!

I remember!

Rani

[on the phone] They're still not answering.

Sarah Jane

Come on! [to Rivers] Thank you, Celeste!

My pleasure! Oh, and be careful.

Sarah Jane

Never careful. [whips out her sonic lipstick] Always prepared! [exits]

[alone, she takes out her lipstick and plays with it] Zap! Zap, zap!

Sarah Jane

[pulls out her sonic lipstick] I won't let you hurt this child.

She is no child. She is a weapon.

And she is underprimed. She is not ready for this. [points at Sarah Jane] You have doomed us all.

Rani

What's going on?

Sarah Jane

Sky's energy. It's flooding out.

Yes, the weapon is priming itself. [to the metal man] Your presence has activated it. The doom of the Metalkind has come.

Sarah Jane

Sky?

[to Sky] ... and my, haven't you grown?

Sarah Jane

It was you. You brought Sky here.

And might I say, what a perfect name for such a perfect child. Young Sky.

Sarah Jane

Yes, well I'd still like to know who you are, both of you.

Consider us [looks at the Captain] servants of the universe.

Sarah Jane

Which means what exactly?

Sometimes, things can't be left to chance. Sometimes, a breeze must blow from east to west, not north to south. Sometimes, sky should be blue, not laid in with cloud. And sometimes, a child must find her way home. Which is my task, Miss Smith. To put things in the right place. And of all the homes in all of the universe, I could find none safer for this child than yours.

Sarah Jane

But who are you?

According to good time.

Sky

So have you come back for me?

Well, that depends on you.

Sky

[to Sarah Jane] Can I stay here with you? That's what I want.

Sarah Jane

Oh, Sky. It's only been a day and I feel like I've known you since you were a baby. Yes, this is your home for as long as you want it to be.

[smiles] Well, that's that then. [picks up the Captain] Jolly good. Until the next time. [disappears]

Sarah Jane

Oh no, wait! [running to the spot he disappeared]

Sky

Who was he then?

Sarah Jane

I haven't the faintest idea. But I'll dare say we'll find out, "according to good time." You must be starving! How does pizza sound?

Sky

What's pizza?

Sarah Jane

[light chuckle] Come on.

Sarah Jane

Oh, Sky's a keen student.

Sky

Clyde says I'm a bright spark. [laughs]

Mr Smith

Through the ages, there have been many reports of fish raining from the sky. There is a meteorological explanation.

Rani

What, you mean it's natural?

Sarah Jane

Storms and tornadoes suck fish out of the water into the upper atmosphere. They freeze, then later, they come raining down. Yeah, but those fish were small. It can satisfy the next door neighbor's cat. Mr Smith, the fish today, they were this big! [widens her hands to a very large extent]

Sarah Jane

[copies Clyde] Yeah, well still not natural.

Sky

So what's in a museum?

Clyde

Dead things, mostly.

Sky

And people like to look at dead things? Isn't that a bit weird?

Clyde

[chuckle]: If you ask me, yeah.

Sarah Jane

Museums help preserve our past, Sky. They're fascinating places. You'll see.

Rani

Mum and Dad met in a museum.

Sarah Jane

Oh, how romantic. Though I never saw your mum as a museum type.

Rani

It was raining.

Sarah Jane

Oh.

Sky

[looking at the totem pole] Isn't it pretty?

Rani

I think the word you're looking for is "creepy." Look at those faces.

Sarah Jane

There shouldn't really be anything sinister about a totem pole. They were generally a kind of storybook, carved from cedar trees as a representation of myths of family history.

Clyde

Well, I'm glad they're not my family. What a funny looking bunch, aren't you? [rubs finger against the pole, receiving a splinter] Ow!