Luke Smith quotes from The Sarah Jane Adventures

Sarah Jane Smith

Slitheen in Downing Street.

Luke Smith

What?

Sarah Jane Smith

[gently taking Luke by the arm] Something a friend said once.

Luke

I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I was trying to be funny.

Clyde

Yeah, well not everybody’s cut out to be me.

You make one hell of a future warrior, soldier!

Luke

[eagerly] You mean, I’d be good at killing people? [pause] If… the eventuality arose.

I’m bettin’ you don’t get invited to too many parties, do you?

Clyde

Why this way?

Luke

Why not?

Luke

Can I borrow your mobile, Clyde?

Clyde

We’re in space! Who’re you gonna ring, Captain Kirk?

Luke

You know you said, anything I wanted to know, just ask, right?

Clyde

Encyclopædia Clydannica, I’m your man.

Luke

Tell me about girls.

Clyde

[exasperated] Oh, man!

Sarah Jane

You're back!

Luke

Was I away?

Sarah Jane

And you are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, going away again!

Oh, these new slim-line flesh-suits... they might handle the gas exchanges better, but they're a bit on the snug side. [he unzips his forehead and emerges from his disguise]

Luke

You're Slitheen!

Luke

But you're skinny!

Amazing, isn't it? With this technology I can eat all I want and still be a size eight.

Luke

[to Nathan] And you?

What? Don't you remember me, Luke? How you killed my family and left me locked in a sealed room to die?!

Luke

Carl!

Same Slitheen, different skin. I teleported out and survived. My father wasn't so fortunate. And now, I'm going to get my revenge.

Luke

On Monday, Clyde and I have to demonstrate the different battle strategies of Bonaparte and Wellington at Waterloo.

Clyde

I wanted to do 'The Battle of Hoth' but Mrs Pitman reckons that Star Wars isn't historically accurate.

Rani

Have you seen anything strange? I mean, around the school?

Luke

Like what?

Langer! My office, now!

Rani

Look, there's something I've got to tell you. Something about me you ought to know.

Clyde

You're from another planet! I already guessed.

Luke

(Noticing a car pulling up behind Clyde) Actually, Clyde it's worse than that.

Clyde

(Noticing as well) Oh no. Rani, please tell me there's a good reason why our new head just pulled up outside your house that doesn't involve the word "Dad".

Luke

Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. Johnny Depp has it.

Clyde

What encyclopaedia did you learn that from, then?

Luke

Heat.

Luke

He's a bit milky, isn't he?

Clyde

'Cheesy'! For the hundredth time, the word is 'cheesy'!

Luke

Last night, everyone was talking about their star signs, and I don't have one.

Sarah Jane

I could give you a birthday if you want. The day I found you. That's what I put on the adoption forms.

Luke

I wasn't born though, Mum. I was activated. 'Happy Activation Day!'. It doesn't sound right, does it? It's another strange thing. Something else that sets me apart.

Sarah Jane

Whatever particular day it is, that doesn't matter. You're not celebrating the day, you're celebrating the person.

Luke

But where you come from, childhood, it makes people who they are. I come from nowhere. I was never a baby.

Sarah Jane

Oh Luke...

Luke

I thought it would get easier, but there are always new things coming along, like this, to make me feel different.

Sarah Jane

Just remember - you're strong. I've seen you learn. You're my son and you're brilliant.

Luke

That's me.

Martin

How have you done this?

Luke

I wasn't born. I have no birthday.

Clyde

No star sign.

Luke

So astrology doesn't work on me. The circle was like an electrical circuit. I broke it.

Rani

Like you did before, you touched Clyde. It shorted the power!

Martin

What are you?

Sarah Jane

He's my son, and he's the centre of my universe.