The Raccoons Season 1 quotes

Bert

(about the cologne, dazed) Now that's success!

Cut! That's a take!

Keep rolling! Perfect! This'll make Star Wars look like a slideshow!

Raccoon, meet your leading lady!

Bert

(belatedly) Oh boy... this is more dangerous than greased roller skates! Yeeuck!

You furball! You're ruining the scene! Wait a minute... this is action! You're on a roll Raccoon! Go with it!

That cologne could ruin a skunk's self confidence!

Bert

Wha... what do you mean? This stuff is great!

Bert, that "stuff" could end the cockroach problem!

Bert

Hey! Where am I?

Schaeffer

That looks like you there Bert, behind that bottle

Bert

Boy, all of that work, and my best stuff doesn't even appear in the commercial! Huh! What a waste of my incredible acting ability!

No wonder my 'Sweet Smell of Success' isn't selling. My cologne's fine. But that raccoon's acting stinks!

Bert

Look up in the sky! It's Bert Raccoon, king of the air!

We're under siege!

We're underpaid!

Are you certain all safely precautions have been taken?

Don't worry sir. This place is sealed up tighter than the leftovers in a tupperware.

Tighter even than your wallet!

My life is in serious danger.

Broo! Go fetch and Melissa and Ralph! Bring some ropes!

Bert

Ropes nothing! Bring the whole fire department, and hurry up!

Fear? Fear? I'm afraid of nothing! Look at my hand (cuts to Cyril's hand, which is trembling) - steady as the economy!

All you have to do is confront your fears. Head on.

Melissa

You heard me, Ralph. I get dizzy looking out the upstairs window.

Bert

What's the difference between Cyril Sneer and a canoe? (pauses) That's right! A canoe tips!