(on the intercom) Pigs! It's time we fix that phantom's wagon. You three get over to that theatre, find the phantom and get rid of it! I'm going to be part of Knox's big deal, even if it kills me!
Hm! He means even if it kills us!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Okay Broo, we've got one super dooper spook sensitive tape recorder!
PTPig Two
Two garlands of garlic to stave off evil spirits!
An XL 3-33 special phantom camera filter!
Four wooden stakes to drive through the hearts of vampires!
A five pound bag of flour for the old 'throw the flour on the ectoplasm' routine!
POPig One
And a slick vacuum to suck up ghostly apparitions - it says so in the guarantee!
I tell you Broo - we have the will, we have he technology, and soon we'll have the phantom!
Bert Raccoon, ace reporter and super sleuth is on the case! Now, what do we know?
Nothing.
Nothing... excellent! We can start with a clean slate!
BLBarbara LaFrum
Cyril Sneer.
Barbara LaFrum!? What do you want?
BLBarbara LaFrum
I want truth, I want justice and I want fair play.
It's just up the road!
POPig One
I don't see the boss anywhere.
PTPig Two
It's Barbara Whatshername - quick, take cover guys!
POPig One
I don't think she saw us. If the boss finds out we set him up with that barracuda, he'll feed us to the sharks!
(Bursts out of hiding in a crate) BOSS? Miserable pig slops! I oughta...
BLBarbara LaFrum
You'll ought to what Mr Sneer?
(Crestfallen) Heh. A buck fifty. I raised a buck fifty.
And it was very nice of you to lend her the money Bert!
A buck fifty! I paid more for my pet lizard!
All we want are a few details.
POPig One
We can't tell you anything. This is top secret! Strictly need-to-know basis.
PTPig Two
And the boss says you don't need to know anything!
As a matter of fact, we don't even know what you don't need to know!
I see a career in politics for these three.
(Ralph has been chucked out of a conference building by a security guard)
That guy has no respect for the press! Something smells in the Rotco corporation!
Well then, we just have to get in there and sniff out the story. Let me try my feminine wiles!
(A few seconds pass before Melissa returns, evidently having been turned away also.)
I must be getting rusty.
Not in my books, baby!
(Bert and Cedric are on a skydiving simulator)
Wow! That was some fun, huh Cedric?
Yeah, that wasn't so bad. But there's a big difference between ten feet and... ten thousand feet!
Ah, only a couple of zeros!
Boy, this is one birthday present you'll never forget, huh Cedric?
Yeah... if I live to remember.
(Whilst courting Ingrid Bellamore)
Good work boys! Put it in the vault!
"Good work"? He's never said that before!
POPig One
We've never done that before!
I did it Pop! I jumped! Did you see it?
I sure did son! But if you don't mind, I'd rather not see it again!
When it comes to spending my money, I'm a careful man. I've only made three mistakes in my entire life.
Really? What were they?
That answer your question?
I can't stay here! This is a hospital!
My, my! For someone who is so cold we are hot under the collar aren't we?
Wow! Ralph, it's here! It finally came!
Er, what's finally here Bert?
Oh I ordered this months ago, I thought it was never going to come! A Silver Silhouette remote bomber! And with this remote control, I can make it do loops, dives, barrel rolls! Why, it can do practically anything!
Can it make a pizza crust?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Raccoons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.