The Raccoons quotes

And now our question for you boss is...

When are we going to get a raise?

Never!

From all available reports, you're absolubtely right Cyril!

Mr Sneer, it's my great pleasure to present you this official communication from the tax department.

No! No, I don't want it! I don't deserve it!

You don't want it?

Of course I don't want it! Can you think of anyone that would want it?

Certainly I can! Might I suggest the Evergreen Orphans' fund?

Fine, give it to them. (pauses) The Evergreen Orphans' fund?

You saw it here ladies and gentlemen, Cyril Sneer is turning over his $50,000 tax refund to the Evergreen Orphans' fund!

(Turns white) Did you say... refund? (keels over)

Bert

Your pop has really changed Cedric! I can remember when this sort of thing would have driven him nuts!

(Off camera) It was just a game. That's all. Just a game. AAARGH!

Like I said, it's a little silly. Just a childhood embarrassment, but I never got over it. The idea of playing in public still brings me out in a cold sweat.

You always told me to face up to things Pop.

It's a benefit show!

Yeah? Well, I've never turned down a benefit.

Great! Follow us!

Er, who's the benefit for?

Us!

Er...Us, yeah. U-S. Unemployed stone farmers! Us!

Unemployed stone farmers? That's a good one on me.

But we were gonna surprise you boss, honest!

Surprise me? Then do something right! That'd surprise me.

By the way Cyril, how come you just happened to have a sax in your trunk?

Oh that? Oh, it's my spare! Always keep a spare in the trunk!

Melissa

(To the Pigs) My, you three look dashing!

I hope we look as dashing when we're crashing!

There's $50,000 in prize money up for grabs in that pylon race! And you're going to win it!

(mumbling) Or die trying!

Of all the rotten luck! Before that hotshot Troy Malone turned up, I had this air race in the bag! We were the only entry!

Okay, get ready for the engine test! And let's hope it doesn't work!

Bert

If there's anything you wanna talk about, just let me know, okay?

I will. Thanks, Bert.

Bert

Okay, Ralph. Uh, I'll see you later.

Face it, Ralph. Some guys make the news... and some guys just write it down.

What happened to you three?

It's a sad and a painful story.

Oh yeah. We didn't even see the cement truck! No, not at all!

And what do you think the chances are of being hit by a meteorite?

Zero. What can I do for you?

We want to place an ad. For a pilot.

A pilot? The race'll be over before the Standard comes out.

Well that's not our problem. But the boss can't say we didn't try!

Gee Ralph, are you sure you're up to this? You haven't logged all that many flying hours.

Maybe not Cedric. But I've had it up to here with Troy Malone. I'm going to give him a run for his money.

It's not his money. It's my money. Now get out there and bring back that fifty grand. And don't wreck my plane!