Smokey quotes from The PJs ... TV Quotes Database

[Thurgood and Muriel encounter Smokey while exploring an abandoned movie theater]

Muriel

Smokey, how's your 12-step recovery coming?

Smokey

Pretty good. Doctors say I'm down to 88% body crack.

S1 E5 Rich Man, Porn Man

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[Thurgood and Smokey are flying above the projects.]

Smokey

[thinking] Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is I'm thinking of?

[the wind stops, causing them to fall]

Thurgood

We gonna CRASH!

Smokey

Again?! I just crashed an hour ago!

S2 E7 Smokey the Squatter

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Thurgood

[reading from MSQ] Superintendents, uh, if you allow someone in your building for even one night, it may take up to six months to legally evi-- SIX MONTHS TO EVICT?!

Smokey

Six months?! I thought it said six days! Good lookin' out, Super! [goes back inside his apartment and slams the door]

Thurgood

[groans] I knew learnin' to read would come back to haunt me.

S2 E7 Smokey the Squatter

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PHPapa Hudson

[seeing Juicy arriving home hours later after he paged him] Didn't you get my page?

Juicy

Oh, you paged me? Um, I guess the batteries are dead.

PHPapa Hudson

Really? Well, I just put new ones in. Let me see it.

Juicy

Oh, okay. I remember what happened. See, I was walkin', right? And I think my pager slipped, and it fell in the street, right? And then this car came, and-and it ran it over. Over and over, and it broke it into a thousand pieces! But I'm okay.

PHPapa Hudson

So the pager's destroyed, huh? Well, then I guess crack must be pixie dust because Smokey pulled THIS [holds up Juicy's pager] out of his magic dumpster!

Smokey

I left the crème brulée in the oven, it needs another 20 minutes. If you need anything tonight, just call my service. I check in every hour.

S2 E13 What's Eating Juicy Hudson?

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