Juicy quotes from The PJs

Hi, Super. Hi, Jimmy.

Sanchez

Hi, boys.

Hi.

Thurgood

Okay, everybody, put on your masks. These are dangerous chemicals we gonna use here.

Juicy

[wearing a princess mask] Like this?

Thurgood

[sighs] Let him be, Thurgood. It's just natural selection.

Calvin

[on Juicy burning himself with an entire bag of marshmallows] Juicy screams like a GIRL!

Juicy

You oughta know, since you're with Chelsea all the time.

Calvin

You take that back!

Calvin

Shut up!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Calvin

See what you did?!

Thurgood

Now, now, Calvin, bein' in love is nothin' to be ashamed of. Took me 23 years of marriage to learn that.

Calvin

I'm not in love with her.

Jimmy

Everybody falls in love sometime, little bro. Mr. Sanchez here has a crush on his voice therapist.

Sanchez

Shut up!

Sanchez and Voice Therapist, sittin' in a tree...

Sanchez

See what you did?

Juicy

Hey, Super, what we gonna name her?

Calvin

I know! How about LeBaron?

Juicy

Or Tercel?

Thurgood

No, no, no. You don't go givin' cars people names. You gotta give it a name that says class. That says somethin' about... about you. [paints "Poorsche" on the traffic cone]

Juicy

Luke, join me. It is your destiny!

Calvin

Juicy Vader, I will never come over to the dark-skin-ded side.

Juicy

Luke, I am your father. [takes off glasses] Probably.

Calvin

NOOOOOOOOO!

Juicy

[finding the album to Richard Pryor: Bicentennial Nigger] Hey, can we listen to this old album?

Thurgood

Listen to it? We can't even say the name anymore.

Calvin

Well, why can't we?

Thurgood

African-American, please.

Thurgood

Good mornin', boys. Y'all enjoyin' yo' Martin Luther King Day?

Juicy

It's Martin Luther King Day?

Calvin

I thought it was Rodney King Day.

Thurgood

What the hell-- Rodney King Day?! Rodney King don't deserve no damn holiday! He's nothin' like Dr. King. Dr. King wanted freedom, but he was hassled by the police, roughed up and put in jail.

Juicy

You mean like Rodney King?

Thurgood

No, not like Rodney King! Don't you know that Dr. King was so revered, that people rioted because of him?

Calvin

Yeah, like Rodney King.

Thurgood

No, not like Rodney King! Dr. King marched in the face of oppression! He wouldn't let the white man keep him down!

Juicy

Was he on PCP, too?

Thurgood

Hey, stop yo' foolin'.

Thurgood

Calvin, you're No Daddy Kane, and Juicy?

Juicy

I want to be Notorious BLT.

Thurgood

No. You gonna be Dangerous EKG.

Calvin

We're thinkin' about M.C. Chunk and Super Smooth.

Juicy

'Cause our rhymes stick to you like peanut butter.

Thurgood

Fine. Choose your own name. [to himself] I oughta call you the Biatch Boys.

[seeing Juicy arriving home hours later after he paged him] Didn't you get my page?

Juicy

Oh, you paged me? Um, I guess the batteries are dead.

Really? Well, I just put new ones in. Let me see it.

Juicy

Oh, okay. I remember what happened. See, I was walkin', right? And I think my pager slipped, and it fell in the street, right? And then this car came, and-and it ran it over. Over and over, and it broke it into a thousand pieces! But I'm okay.

So the pager's destroyed, huh? Well, then I guess crack must be pixie dust because Smokey pulled THIS [holds up Juicy's pager] out of his magic dumpster!

Smokey

I left the crème brulée in the oven, it needs another 20 minutes. If you need anything tonight, just call my service. I check in every hour.

Calvin

Juicy, did you notice anything weird about that guy?

Juicy

No. He seemed like a perfectly normal guy in a suit.

Calvin

Exactly! I mean, who wears a suit in the projects?

Juicy

Jehovah witnesses?

Juicy

I've been staring at it for an hour, and I still don't see anything dirty.

Calvin

Look, man: right above the chin is the "B", the two eyes make the "OO", under the nose is the "T", and his teeth make the "Y". It says "booty"! That's how they make grown-ups think cigarettes are sexy.

Juicy

Cigarettes aren't sexy. Your mom's sexy.

Thurgood

Now, there comes a point in every little boy's life when he thinks it might be fun to wear a dress, dance around, and ask people to call him "Shirley" instead of "Thurgood". [realizes what he said] And there's nothin' wrong with that.

Calvin

Yes, there is! Sounds like a punk to me.

Juicy

Don't talk to Shirley like that.

Thurgood

Now think about what you're trying to represent. A life of bleak prospects and hopelessness.

Da mack on crack is sho'nuff wack.

Thurgood

What was that?

Da mack on crack is sho'nuff wack.

Juicy

I think she's got it.

Thurgood

By Chicken George, I think she's got it!

Da mack on crack is sho'nuff wack, yo!

Calvin

I believe she's rollin'!

Juicy

I do believe she's rollin'.

Thurgood

Now, once again, what is that mack?

On crack! On crack!

Thurgood

And the effect of that punk-ass crack?

It's wack! It's wack!

Da mack on crack is sho'nuff wack! Yo!

We've called you fine people here to offer you the adventure of a lifetime!

Juicy

Ooh! We gonna go clubbin' with Puffy?

Not quite. You're gonna live outdoors without the luxuries of your homes for 40 days!

Thurgood

40 days? That's almost... [counts the numbers] 50 days!

Calvin

[narrating] Sometimes, there's so much beauty in the projects, my heart could burst. [picks up a floating paper bag]

Thurgood

See, boys? Nothin' gives you a greater sense of pride than cleanin' up the neighborhood.

Juicy

But Super, didn't the judge order you to do this community service?

Thurgood

Look, we could argue all day about who was and who wasn't arrested for public urination, but I'll be the bigger man and do my community service. [picks up a small wad of paper] There, the courtyard is clean. Was that so hard? [a piece of paper hits him] What the Funky Phantom?