The Patrick Star Show · Season 1
Two ice cream sundaes, Scoop Chucky! Extra large! And make it snappy! What are you gonna have, cuz?
Oh, nothing for me, thanks. I came for the music.
Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry, buttercream cone and black cherry, all of these flavors make me merry... when I'm eating ice cream!
Everybody come upstairs now!
What's the hold up?
Oh, no! What's wrong?
Patrick, what is it?
[The Star Family gasp]
He won't eat. He won't bark. He won't bite. Did he turn blue? Tinkle is--
Dainty?
Delightful?
Decalcified?
Dead!
[the family gasp in shock, they sigh while Bunny bursts into tears]
[sobbing] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Our next guest is a real frosty treat! Let's hear it for ice cream!
Thank you! Thank you! My wife just had a baby. Guess that now makes me a popsicle! [laughs]
[laughs and then starts drooling]
Wait. Why? Why are you looking at me like that? [screams as Patrick eats the ice cream cone guy, ending the episode]
La da dee, la da dum... [humming. He arrives at a house and rings the doorbell] Delivering the newspaper, ya-ta-ta-ta!
Oh boy! A newspaper for me?
Huh?
Thanks, paper boy! [takes the newspaper]
You still owe me cash! Ya-ta-ta-ta!
I'll heard ya back! Ya-ta-ta-ta!
[tries entering the Star Family house and cuts his two tentacles. He then tries to enter the window but cuts his left arm. He then tries entering the Star Family house again but cuts his two other tentacles] Aha. [Cecil opens a window so then Squidward would be able to enter and then gets his head cut off] Typical.
Well, Princess Hamhock! Enjoy the string haquanauts history?
Yes, father! I just love singing gravy carols!
Only a sacrifice will appease the Pointy Mouth of Doom! Guards! [The guards take Sausage-Bard.]
What? Where are you taking me?
And, top it all off with the tastiest ride! -
Whaa? Ohh! [perks up, looks behind him, and his eyes pop out as he sees the next ride]
The Baked Alaska! It's got every flavor known to man, man! It's all for you, Patrick. Patrick. Patrick. Patrick. Patrick.
[looks above him, sweating and drooling in delight] Ohhhhhhhhh... [a close up painting is shown of the star ice cream dazed, but it turns out to be a dream]
[walks into Patrick's room] Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Wake up, Patrick, it's showtime! We've got a crowd today so - [looks below at the drool puddle] Huh, why is the floor wet? Oh, another ice cream dream..
The toaster is working perfectly!
Toaster, you are toast! [Patrick shoots the ray gun at the toaster and the toaster becomes the Enigma Shapeshifter.] Laser beam!
Huh?
Future Mom, you're meant for better things!
Mom? What are you--
[leaning over her] I'm your son! From the future! [electricity sparks on his body]
Uh-huh. Like you could even prove such a thing.
[leans in] Your favorite color... is purple.
[surprised] Ooh!
Mm-hmm.
OK. I'm convinced!
Me Patrick CaveStar! And me live with cave parents! [grabs onto the loincloth but tears it, Cave Cecil is seen fishing in a tar pit.] This me cave dad!
[Cave Cecil fishes out a primitive spider who licks him. Then Cave Patrick comes through the floor of the kitchen, where Cave Bunny is looking in the fridge.]
This me cave mom!
Hi! [beats a primitive creature and puts it on a plate as she smiles to the camera and Cave Patrick falls through the ceiling of Cave Squidina's room]
This me cave sister! [Cave Squidina turns feral and screeches, before inking and floating away] She's shy.
[Cave GrandPat is seen happily driving on his primitive bug in circles.]
This me cave grandpa! [he runs to his cave room which is a stone-looking television screen through which his friends are jumping and making primitive noises] This me cave! And this...
[Cave Patrick's house that looks like a volcano spits them out in a tar pit nearby.]
This me cave show! [The entire family is crushed by a huge boulder. The title shows "The Cave Patrick Star Show"]
Note: This episode is focused on Cave Patrick Cave Star and His Family
[sniffs] Mmm. [laughs] What's that heavenly aroma?
[The tanning bed is completely closed, with heat coming out of it. Patrick looks in and gasps. Bunny, GrandPat, and Cecil do as well. Shmandrake's body is cooked.]
[horrified] WE BARBECUED HIM!
[picks up Shmandrake's body] There goes all our wishes! [cries]
[pats Patrick's shoulders] There, there, son. Hey, maybe we've learned a valuable lesson here.
[Patrick and Cecil sniff Shmandrake's aroma.]
Say, that does smell delicious. [The family start sniffing Shmandrake's aroma.]
Mmm...
[takes out fork and knife] Let's eat it! [A fork transitions to Shmandrake's body on a plate. The Stars pick pieces from it with forks, leaving only the head. They all eat his body.]
Mmm, kind of nice having him feed us for a change, ha ha.
[takes Shmandrake's haed] It sure is! [Shmandrake's head suddenly regrows] Huh?
[screams, grabs Patrick's shirt] You maniacs! You ate me! [screams and shakes him] Why? [runs away, crying] I can't believe they were so selfish! [cries, then bumps into Squidina and grunts]
[holding shovel] End of the line, Shmandrake. Give me that wish, or you're going back... [points shovel at him] six feet under.
I wish we never found you in the first place.
Ah. [laughs] Fiddle dee doo-- [spins and laughs] Fiddle dee done! [snaps fingers]
[A purple cloud of magic dust takes Squidina back to her operating a camera and recording Patrick's gardening segment. She looks around.]
Wow, the floor is much softer out here, [shown next to a hole] and once we've dug our hole, [takes out small seed] we plant a little seed.
Phew!
[off-screen] Hey, look what I found!
Huh?
[holding a genie lamp] A genie's lamp!
[groans] I wish this cartoon was over already!
[The genie lamp appears. A genie inside snaps its fingers and a magic cloud of dust transitions to black.]
Note: This marks the first SpongeBob SquarePants related episode to be themed around thanksgiving
Hey, nice bathroom! I call the top bunk!
Note:This Halloween Special Is Focused on the Show
[The episode begins at night in Bikini Bottom, with several kids trick-or-treating.]
Candy! [laughs]
[comes up to screen] Trick or treat! [laughs and runs off]
[Pinkeye jumps by in a vampire costume and hisses. Ouchie, in a garlic costume, barks and chases him away. Old Man Walker is dressed as a mad scientist, laughs, and swallows the screen. We see the inside of the Star house, covered in Halloween decorations. Cecil, dressed as a werewolf, comes out from behind the couch.]
[meows] Wait, is that right?
[rides past covered in toilet paper] I think we're out of toilet paper!
[A fishing rod with Bunny's hair, glasses, and shirt floats by.]
[ghostly] Ooh, I'm the invisible mom! [she is hiding around the hallway, exposing her tattoo] Oh, my! [hides]
[The camera goes into Patrick's room. Squidina is filming Patrick, who is sleeping.]
Okay, Patrick. It's showtime! Up and at 'em!
[She pulls of the sheets to see Patrick asleep and drooling.]
Oh my Neptune, he's dead! [lifts his eyelid to reveal static] Dead tired! [takes out candy bar] Ah! [snaps it] Hah!
[She waves the candy bar in front of Patrick's nose. Patrick sniffs it and sits up.]
Mmm, nougat. Mmm.
It's Halloween, Patrick! You know what that means!
Candy!
[Patrick reaches for the candy, but falls out of bed. He tries to lick it up, but the Dartfish Family, dressed in costumes, run and pick it up.]
Trick or treat! [run off]
[a restaurant that looks like a cowboy hat is shown. A zombie kicks the door open.]
Howdy, I'm Famous Zed, and if you're anything like me, you are hungry for brains! [head jumps onto a table] At Famous Zed's, we've got buckets of brains all for you! [head jumps on body] Enjoy brain eating at your own pace with a visit to our brain buffet.
[An old man sneezes on the sneeze guard, launching his head against it. His body collapses. A veiw Mr. Krabs, Mrs. Puff, Larry and everyone's heads removed]
Or order fresh brains right to your table!
[A zombie removes Fred's head and eats his brain.]
My brain!
So remember, the next time you've got a hankering that only brains can satisfy, mosey on down to Famous Zed's Brain Buffet! We'll have you eating brains faster than you can say--
Brains, brains, brains... [get up to camera]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Patrick Star Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
