Chum. It's versatile. You can spread it on toast. Hah-hah! Aw. It also keeps you warm on frosty winter nights. Mmm, cozy. The smell keeps out the cold. Here at the Chum Bucket, chum comes in three delicious varieties. Moist, soggy, and pumpkin spice.
Characters
PatrickBill Fagerbakke · 28 quotes
SquidinaJill Talley · 16 quotes
BunnyCree Summer · 12 quotes
CecilThomas F. Wilson · 9 quotes
GrandPatDana Snyder · 9 quotes
SpongeBobTom Kenny · 4 quotes
PlankensteinMr. Lawrence · 3 quotes
PlanktonMr. Lawrence · 3 quotes
RubeMr. Lawrence · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Patrick & Squidina (14), Patrick & Bunny (8), Bunny & Cecil (8)
S1Late for Breakfast
S1Bummer Jobs
Hi, SpongeBob. Fancy meeting you here. [restrained chuckle]
Hi, Patrick. Trying out a new look? [gets the tie off Patrick, and the latter inhales deeply]
Yeah, I'm looking for a job.
Oh, what a coincidence. I could also use a job. [Popeye impression] Myeh, 'cause I'm a little low on lettuce and I need some scratch for spatulas, see?
It's not a coincidence, SpongeBob. It's just two similar things happening at the same time.
S1Gas Station Vacation
[A fat, shirtless guy is sleeping on the beach. Rube's head pops out of the sand.]
[grunting] Don't you wish you were here? [Cut to Rube standing in front of some double doors.]
Then take a trip, you silly, to Frigate Frolic, [zooms out to show a place themed like a sinking ship] Bikini Bottom's fab family fun park and resort. [cut to Rube surfing] You can ride the waves [cut to Rube being lifted by a whale fountain] or blast off at Beluga Blast, [cut to Rube playing pool] shoot some pool, [cut to Rube jumping off a diving board into a pool] or jump in one. [cut to Rube in a dining area where foods are served on hooks] Whether you're hungry for the buffet at the Taj Marlin [cut to Rube holding a towel next to two old people on the beach] or you just want to sunbathe, [throws towel to cover an old lady] we got you covered. [she slaps him] Ow! [cut to Rube holding a sign in front of the building] So meet me at the amazing Frigate Folic! I'll be waitin'!
[Cut to a "Brought to You By Gas Land" slide.]
AAnnouncer
Brought to you by the gas you won't want to pass. [fart sound effects] Gas Land!
[Cut to hot dogs cooking on a roller. Patrick grabs two. Squidina is drinking a slushie with her arms full of snacks.]
Check it, Sis! [ties hot dogs into a dog shape] A sea poodle! [laughs, then burns his hand] Ahh! Oh-oh-oh-oh! Ow! Ow! [runs through shelves] Ooh! Ooh! Ahh!
[Patrick walks up to a kid with an ice cream cone. He dunks his hand inside and sighs in relief.]
KKid
Huh?
Ooh! [eats ice cream off his hand, Kid starts crying and runs away. Huh? I'll make us a family sized vacation feast. [chuckles and Patrick grabs some bags of snacks from the shelves. He shoves them into the microwave, along with some slushies and drinks. He closes it, elbows it shut, and sets the timer, then walks away. The kid that Patrick took the ice cream from is talking to the manager.]
KKid
[sadly] And then he ate it! [points to Patrick] There he is! [whimpering]
Excuse me, sir, you can't come in here [points to the kid] ruining customer's ice cream cones! [waves finger] That's our policy!
[Patrick looks at the manager's outfit.]
[puts hands on head] Whaaa!? [grabs him and runs over the kid] Sis, get a picture of me with the Gas Land mascot!
All right, Stars, photo op! [the family members come in] Say cheese poofs!
PBPatrick, Bunny, Cecil, and GrandPat
Cheese poofs!
[The manager puts some garbage bags into a dumpster. He turns around.]
MManager
Whaaa!? [He sees the worms rampaging and attacking people around the gas station.] What's happening!?
[woman with a worm on her tongue shows up and screams.]
Fred [removes a worm from his face, with golf balls in his eyes, pointing] They did it! [The Stars climb to the top of the mountain with pickaxes. They watch the sunrise.]
What a beautiful vacation sunset. [The Stars sighing]
[The manager gets angry, bites a squeegee between his teeth, and climbs up the mountain. He appears before the Stars with redeyes.]
[casually] Hey, Mr. Mascot, come to enjoy the sunset with us?
MManager
I want you troublemakers out of my station immediately [intense close-up, he wipes his eyes away with the squeegee] or I will squeegee your faces off. That's our policy. [cackles]
SStars
[unsure] Uh... [cheering] Yay! [laughing]
Do my eyes next!
S1Bunny the Barbarian
[The episode begins with an open shot of the Star family house, where a horn is being blown. Zoom and cut to the inside of the house, where it is revealed that Bunny is blowing a conch shell.]
[blowing conch horn] Star family assemble! [Several family members travel through a large system of pipes.]
Whee! D'oh! [runs to Bunny]
[on scooter, crashes from above floor] Ugh!
[gets out of painting, runs to Bunny] Oh! [chuckles]
[Patrick, in a robe outfit, steps out of a stage door, with pararazzi behind him. Patrick tries to shut the door, but the paparazzi takes his robe outfit. Patrick manages to shut the door and walks off. Patrick taking his sunglasses off, humming, Patrick and Cecil arrive at the scene.]
As you know, tonight is family movie night! [Patrick, Squidina, Cecil, and GrandPat cheer] But first, we all have to do our weekly household chores. [Everyone else looks disappointed.]
Wait, what?
FBFemale barbarian
[turns around] Huh?
How much does it cost to get in?
FBFemale barbarian
It could cost you your life. What manner of armor are you wearing?
Oh, this old thing? It's just something I threw together. [Female barbarian whistles, startling Bunny]
[lizard roaring as it passes by her] Ooh! [gets hit by lizard] Oh, ow! Oh, ow! [lizard flies away, Bunny and the barbarian swap clothing]
FBFemale barbarian
Ooh, this armor is so soft and breathable! [spins around] I feel so light!
And it's 100% machine-washable. [Female barbarian giggling, dancing] Aren't you going in?
FBFemale barbarian
I was gonna steal the [points ahead] bejeweled treasure from the Dust Demon inside, but now I just wanna [dances away] dance and dance and dance! [laughs]
Bejeweled treasure? [gasps] Adventure! [walks up ahead]
GGatekeeper
[in door, Pat the Hapless approaches as well] Next! Who or what are you to think you can enter this realm?
PHPat the Hapless
Hm? Animal or mineral?
GGatekeeper
Wrong.
PHPat the Hapless
[floor drops below him as he falls into pit of fire] Ah!
GGatekeeper
[Bunny approaches, pointing to her] Who or what are you to think you can enter this realm?
My name is Bunny Star, and I'm from Bikini Bottom. I work as a greeter at a local prison, but if I was to say what I am most proudest of, that would be being a mother.
GGatekeeper
A mother? [whimpering, sniffles] I never had a mother. I was conjured from [cow moos] sea cow pies by an evil spirit. [slams trapdoor, opens door as Bunny enters] May I call you "mum"?
Aww. [kisses gatekeeper on forehead] Mwah! [begins climbing spiral staircase]
Gatekeeper': Beware of the [points] Dust Demon's spawn, mother.
S1Who's a Big Boy?
I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Ready to work at the Krusty Krab, but first...
SPONGE SMASH!
S1X Marks the Pot
MRMan Ray
If I give you this, will you stay out of my way?
Our basement is the darkest house in the room.
S1Patrick's Alley
[to puppet] I think your magic word is broken! [as puppet] Argh! You moronic, imbecilic dimwit! [puppet punches him in the face multiple times, and he falls down, Patrick, now injured, puts the puppet in its box.]
MMarcie
[shaking in box] Lemme outta here!
What's the magic word? [Marcie's dolphin sounds are heard] Whoa!
Wow!
That's not very kid friendly! Bad puppet!
[Towards the end of the episode, A robot is about to mow Squidina and Patrick]
SPSquidina and Patrick
Oh No, Robot Gardener Day!!! [both sob hysterically]
Welp, you know what they say "Into the frying pan and into the mower!" [Laughs as the episode ends]
S1Super Sitters
[When The Baby Bubble Eats SpongeBob's Comic Book While He is Drinking his Juice Box]
Hey, This Was in mint Condition, or at least very good-slash-fine [All Babies Cry Together]
Hey, Hey, Hey, Superheroes And Supervillians Don't Cry, They BATTLE! [Baby Ray Zaps Barnacle Bambino] Now You're Getting It, Baby Superhero Fight!
S1Nitwit Neighborhood News
That guy must be a celebrity, he covered his face with a ski mask so he wouldn’t be noticed by pepperoni.
You Mean "Paparazzi"?
S1Mid-Season Finale
PPearl
Hey, Squidina!
[opening other painting] Yeah, Pearl?
PPearl
Can you keep a secret?
[rubbing her hands together] Ooh, I sure can!
PPearl
Good! So can I!
[Pearl pulls on a zipper and zips her lips, and Squidina grumbles in frustration. They close the paintings. Sandy appears from under a rug on the floor.]
SSandy
[calling] Oh, Flying Dutchman?
[The Flying Dutchman appears from under another rug, holding a newspaper.]
FDFlying Dutchman
Yes, my dear?
SSandy
Why were you reading the obituaries this morning?
FDFlying Dutchman
Just checking to see who's single!
SFSandy and the Flying Dutchman
Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!
S1SpongeBob SquarePants Presents The Tidal Zone Part One - Shrinking Stars
[removes his VR goggles] Can't an old man play violent video games in peace anymore? Grr! [looks up] Water? [gets angry and goes to the bathroom while the rest of the family is still laughing]
[as GrandPat approaches] We got shrunk!
Hey, GrandPat!
Can you get us some tiny towels?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Patrick Star Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.