If God listened to my mother, I'd be living in a mansion with a handsome millionaire and gorgeous kids. (stares at the ceiling) She forgot to say "married"?!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
LLady
Shhh!
Calm down, it's in Hebrew. What, are you afraid you'll miss something?
I Knew It. I knew it!!........ Andrew Loyd Webber is God
Ooh, croy-sants!
[correcting her] Croissants. I never thought I'd say this to you but more nasal.
(to CC) No sour grapes, you could have foreign men worship you too. Go to India. You'd be sacred.
CCaptain
Welcome aboard the Century, ladies. I'm your captain.
[With Yetta hanging onto her] How do you do? I'm Fran Fine and this is my birth control device.
You look so different without your blue uniform and your big handlebar moustache.
Yetta, that's Cap'n Crunch.
I know who it is. That picture on the box must have been taken years ago.
You can't trust him. He won't make you happy.
I don't want to be happy. I want to be married.
I told mother no one should get a hold of their trust fund until they're at least 30 years old.
30?! I'm not gonna have a date 'til I'm 30!
Honey, at least when you turn 30, you'll be rich. When I turn 30, I'll be... 40.
How much do you know about the Titanic?
Top of the line! They had a midnight buffet on deck. And the ice sculpture—HUGE!
Nanny Fine, don't be hurt just because I'm closer to little Gretel than you are.
Gretel never said that!
CCC.C.
Aren't we defensive? There's nothing wrong with being just a pretty face. In fact, it's a plus if you have no skills.
I've got skills!
CCC.C.
Nanny Fine, identifying what's in the Godivas without a guide is not a skill. C'mon! You must know the only reason you got this job is because of your looks.
Hey! Hey! That is not true! I got this job because I lied on my resume.
What is it with guys? Why do they always think just because you're at a singles bar with a cute top, a tight skirt and stiletto heels, you're looking for action?
JJack
Why do women think that guys expect them to jump into bed every time they try to buy them a drink? Now, potato skins, I get you both.
I don't think so.
Speak for yourself. I haven't had a potato skin in three years.
I was 17 once too. I snuck out all the time. Of course, I didn't have a boyfriend. I just wanted to eat bacon.
Who told you to call the doctor?
Ms. Fine.
Well, excuse me but when did she become master of the house?
Three years ago September.
[At Loehmann's sale]
SShopper
Excuse me please. I had this sweater first.
I believe you're mistaken.
SShopper
I've got the cuff.
I've got the armpit.
SShopper
[Grabs Grace] I've got your kid.
Hah! She's not mine.
SShopper
Listen, I'm warning you. My nicotine patch fell off, my mother's in town and my boyfriend just left me for my brother.
[Points to Grace] I'm over 30, single, and I work for her!
Niles, I was thinking Mr. Sheffield was right. If I help Brighton with his project, it's only going to hurt him.
You've already gotten involved and screwed up?
Yeah.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Nanny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.