Mr. Sheffield quotes from The Nanny

Now Miss. Fine you did understand this party was for cast and crew only, I mean you really weren't expecting to be invited were you?

Fine

No (She rips off her robe revealing a dress)

If Barbra Streisand and your mother were both drowning, who would you save?

Fran

I'd save my mother. Barbra can walk on water.

Does everyone eat like this on the Jewish holidays, Ms. Fine?

Fran

Why do you think we wandered the desert for 40 years? We were walking off the meal.

Ms. Fine, before Tom and his son get here, we have a little saying in the theatre: "Mess with the investor, move back in with your mother."

Fran

I have a saying: "Mess with the nanny... please."

Ms. Fine, I'm not sure how much longer I can control my feelings for you.

Fran

Er... Wait three to four seconds and let 'er rip.

Miss Fine I can't, I'm sorry I just can't

Fran

Mr. Sheffield Is there something you haven't told me something that might have happened in the Falklands

No of course no, I'm talking about this what we're about to do it just all seems wrong.

Fran

You know now I don't know If I am coming or going I mean you keep giving me mixed messages you act like you want me

Of course I want you your a very sexy beautiful woman.

Fran

You know now would be a good time to end this argument

Miss. Fine don't you see what we are about to do here was a very serious step to take, oh your not just a one night stand.

Fran

Me, oh no of course not, Look Mr. Sheffield you know I always thought we were going to end up together but If It ain't going to happen now It ain't going to happen

Look I didn't say It will never happen.

Fran

well I think my chances are only going to decrease as I slowly morph into Yetta, Four years it's enough already I can't take It anymore I'm outta here

Ms. Fine, I have to talk to you about our relationship and the way it seems to have escalated.

Fran

Wait a minute, you said "our", "relationship" and "escalated" in the same sentence. Should I book a hall?

Oh, Niles, do you think that Ms. Babcock's upset that I asked Nanny Fine out on a date?

Niles

Oh, no sir.

Maxwell

Well, I'd hate for her to think that I didn't like her.

Niles

(innocently) Oh, wherever would she get that idea?

Maxwell

Oh, I don't know. Maybe from SOME BIG FAT BUTLER SCREAMING IT IN HER FACE! (Niles clutches his heart, takes something out from his pocket, and puts it in his mouth) Oh, stop it, I know those are bloody Tic-Tacs!

Fran

Ms. Babcock, I have something to tell you that is going to be very hard for you to take.

C. C.

[To Mr. Sheffield] YOU ASKED HER TO MARRY YOU, YOU SCUM?!! TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE I HAVE—

C.C.!! C.C.!! Ms. Fine lost Chester in Central Park.

Phew! You scared the hell out of me.

Niles

All I wanted was a simple thank you. I suppose in order to get some attention around here, I have to hop up on your desk in my short skirt.

Did you say "my"?

Niles

I was putting myself in Ms. Fine's shoes.

Well, you can't wear those wingtips with your skirt. Make you look stumpy.

Niles

He who belts "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair" in the shower should not throw stones. I assure you I am the most masculine one in this room... [Enter C.C.] ...until now.

It's driving me crazy, her being out with some other man. I can share these feelings with you because I'm not in love with you

Niles

[Coyly] Nobody looks good at two in the morning.

Niles

Something troubling you sir?

Oh no I'm Miss Fine, I-I mean I'm just fine.

Niles

I'll bring you back Cuban cigars.

Fran

I'll send my mother to Cuba.

Niles

I'll make you Baked Alaska.

Fran

I'll send my mother to Alaska.

In all fairness, Niles did ask me first.

Fran

He's wearing your suit!

Niles

She's wearing Ms. Gracie's skirt.

Fran

And that's how I just won.

Fran

You know I just can't wait to get out of this dress

Then I'll go get us a room

Fran

( not paying attention) Okay [realizes as he lets go of her and walks away]

C. C.

When she gets here, I don't want any screw-ups. [Starts sniffing]

What are you doing?

I'm sniffing for Alberto VO 5, Top Ramen, anything that reeks of Nanny Fine.