Mr. Sheffield quotes from The Nanny

It's bad enough having your dog here. [Fran enters] Always begging to go out, jumping into my lap, rubbing up against me all the time...

Fran

SHHHHH! Does everybody need to know our business?

[Condescendingly to a depressed Niles] Oh dear, Niles, what is it this time? Your job? Your weight? No future?

Niles

Actually, I was just wondering why I don't have a social life but you cleared that right up for me. Thank you, sir.

Fran

It is just so adorable how you can't really express the way you feel. Like all the times you yell and scream at me when in reality, you want to hug me.

Well...

Fran

And all those times when you fired me when in reality, you want to kiss me.

[Shyly] All right.

Fran

When you told me you love me and you took it back when in reality...

No, actually, that I meant.

Fran

I hate you.

No, you don't. You really want to hug me.

Sylvia

[In tears] It's times like this you look up to God and ask: "Why? Why?!"

We can't ask why, Sylvia. It's nature. It's random. It's...

Sylvia

No! Why don't you marry my daughter?

So who is this Bob fellow anyway?

Fran

Oh, you're going to love him!

Well, the important thing is that you love him, Miss Fine. [nervously] Do you love him, Miss Fine?

Fran

Don't be silly, it took me three years to fall in love with you— [catches herself] ...Hoo's chocolate drink, moving on.

Niles

When you sent Miss Fine to therapy, you never thought about how this would affect me. Miss Babcock should be here, she's my home entertainment center

Niles, could you bring me a drink?

Niles

Happy hour doesn't start till you go home, see it just doesn't work with her

(to Niles) would you stop complaining, Miss. Fine giving up men is a god send

Niles

But sir your a man despite the way you trible a ball in those bath beads you like so much

This is not about me, Miss. Fine giving up her urge to be in a relationship is the best thing for her, no more rushing into romances no more getting her poor heartbroken

Niles

No more nudging you to make a commitment

Yea i know isn't it wonderful (He laughs) and the best part of it is it's all the doctor's idea there's no way i can be blamed for this

Sylvia

(she enters the room) I BLAME YOU FOR THIS (Maxwell runs and hides behind Niles) I don't know who the bigger nut is, that shrink for telling her she does not need to get married or (She points at Mr. Sheffield) you for paying for it tell her you can't afford it that you're broke.

Niles

oh she'll never believe that he's worth millions

Niles

I mean what do we really know about this Chandler fellow Miss. Babcock's so fond of?

Where did that Psychiatrist get his degree? is what I'd like to know

Brighton

Gin

I mean what kind of imbecile encourages a single woman to go out with two couples like some kind of fifth wheel

Niles

Yes it's madness sir

I sent her to that Psychiatrist to stop this dating lunacy and get her to spend more time here with me...well um the children

I don't know why I'm always having to defend myself to you "mmm", I'm a grown man i can come and go as i please.

Fran

I don't know who you are anymore

I'm your boss you are the nanny and that is an end to the discussion

Fran

Fine then i'll say no more

Thank You, (Fran throws a roll and hits Max with it)

Fran

Hello Mr Sheffield

Ah miss fine you seamed to have moved passed the unpleasantness of the other morning. Did you have a good theropy session?

Fran

Oh Mr. Sheffield what goes on in a therapist office is confidential you really shouldn't pry into the private lives of others "oh the new people"

I'm glad your feeling better Miss Fine

Fran

Oh I am Dr. Miller Is a genius he is so Intelligent and Insightful I swear I have never met a man who understood me more

Oh sounds to me like someone has a little crush on their theropist

Fran

sounds to me like someone is a little jealous, you see what your doing don't you you are elevating me to the status of wife, that's why you can't stand to see me act like a beautiful single woman

I can assure you Miss fine I am not jealous

Fran

Denial

I'm not in denial

Fran

Denying Denial

What did he do?

Sylvia

Let's just say he put his hand some place he shouldn't have.

Oh my God! And nobody's going to do anything about it?!

Sylvia

What are you gonna do, call the police? They'd have to arrest every man on the subway.

How are Ms. Fine and her mother?

Val

Well, so far it's quiet.

Oh my God! He's killed her!

Darling, I've known the butler 30 years. We've had many gay times together, shared a fag or two between us and I can tell you, if there was anything queer about him, I'd know it.

Fran

So in other words, you had some fun, you smoked a few cigarettes and there's nothing strange about him.

Of course.

Fran

Just making sure.

Fran

A woman just called and told me that Ma may not be my real mother.

So are we happy or sad?

Fran

We're thinking.

Ladies, tell me: What could be better than my new play being nominated for a Tony Award?

Sylvia

Your face on my grandchild.

Alright, now this Is It. Now, if they start to shoot our row, I don't want anyone making rabbit ears behind anyone else's heads, alright? Just behave yourselves.

Brighton

When did I ever do that?

I wasn't speaking to you.

Niles

Oh, one time at the Angela Lansbury roast. Would you let It go?