Mr. Sheffield quotes from The Nanny

Fran

What we need here is compromise.

Meaning I do what you want and compromise my integrity.

Fran

That's democracy in action.

Fran

I remember when Goldie died, may she rest in peace.

Your grandmother?

Fran

My goldfish.

Goldie the goldfish. Clever. You should write.

Fran

I loved her so. And then there she was one day belly-up in her bowl, her little body just covered in ick. We gave her a 21 flush salute.

Lovely tribute.

Fran

No. She just wouldn't go down.

Niles, did you remember my attache?

Niles

Yes, sir.

And my carry-on?

Niles

Always, sir.

Well, seems we have everything.

C. C.

[Enters] Maxwell?

Niles

Oops, I guess I did forget one old bag.

Fran

Oh Mr. Sheffield, I hope I didn't screw up your play.

Well frankly after how Brock treated you this evening I'm not sure I'd care to work with him anyway.

Fran

Oh, that's too bad too, cause now he could really hit those high notes. [claps her hand together] [Mr Sheffield looking shocked]

Brighton

Does that mean she kicked him in the–?

Goodnight Brighton.

Ms. Fine, is it? Which agency exactly was it that arranged for your position here?

Fran

Oh, I didn't come through an agency. Mr. Sheffield hired me right off the street.

It's not like it sounds. I tried her out for the weekend first.

Ms. Fine, what I am trying to say is if you are intent on having a fling then there are certain rules regarding proper places for a fling to be flung.

Fran

Mm-hmm. So I take it the previous nannies never, er... flang?

No, they were not flingers.

It is just a P.T.A. Meeting.

Fran

Meanwhile, some of those Ps and Ts could be lonely hes.

Niles

You've certainly got the A for it.

My God, she has got something, hasn't she?

Fran

Yeah. Guts.

I'll never forget those three glorious weeks we spent in Cornwall.

We were never in Cornwall.

Devon?

No.

The cozy little room with the fireplace and the four-poster bed?

Nope. Not me.

Well, I had a good time.

Niles, have you seen my yellow notepad with all my notes on it?

Niles

Not recently, sir. Where did you have it last?

Why do people always ask that? If I remembered where I had it last, I'd go there and get it, not bother you about it, wouldn't I? [remembers] Mantle. I was pacing, and I left it on the–[walks to the fireplace mantle, finding his notepad] Niles, you're a genius.

Niles

Honored to be the wind beneath your wings, sir.

Ms. Fine, don't you have something you want to say to Mr. Bradley and his son?

Fran

Yeah, but then I'd have something else to apologize for.

Fran

It's like my mother always says—

Niles

"You can freeze anything"?

Fran

No.

"Why buy Sweet'N Low when restaurants are giving it away"?

Fran

No.

"Seven cans of tuna fish count as one in the express line"?

Fran

No. My mother always said: "Blood is thicker than water. And you can wash them both off of plastic slip covers".

Fran

Mr. Sheffield, can I talk to you for just one minute?

I doubt it.

So would you like me to be there when you tell the children?

Fran

Oh Do we have to tell the children?

I think they'll notice you're missing.

Fran

Can't you just tell them I'm taking a bath?

Ms. Fine, you'll be gone forever.

Fran

Tell them I'm putting on my makeup.

I don't know how C.C. can be so insensitive.

Niles

Oh, sir, the woman would invite the Clintons to go whitewater rafting.