Wayne Rigsby quotes from The Mentalist

Cho

This is my fault. I'm the one he conned. I should know better.

Lisbon

So should I. I'm the one who got him out of the hospital. We were all marks today.

Van Pelt

Not me. What? He didn't con me.

Rigsby

Only because he wants to have a date with you.

Van Pelt

[smiles] Really?

Cho

Don't take this the wrong way, but the death of Jane's family made him a better person.

Lisbon

That person was always inside of him. The murder just brought it out.

Rigsby

[Y]ou're still good at sussing out guilty parties.

Jane

Huh. How do I do that, exactly?

Rigsby

Ah, it's hard to say. Causing trouble, mostly.

Jane

Well, in that case, Wayne, what's the best way in with the luscious redhead?

Rigsby

Van Pelt?

Jane

Well, clearly you two had a thing, and she dumped you, but maybe you can share a tip on how to open the cookie jar, you know? Get some, uh... tasty ginger snaps?

Rigsby

You want a tip? Back off.

Van Pelt

Wayne, you're reading a baby book.

Rigsby

[closes the book] Yeah, I am.

Van Pelt

Why?

Rigsby

I -- yes. I'm pregnant. Sarah's pregnant. I'm having a baby.

Van Pelt

Oh my God. Yikes. I mean, sorry. It surprised me. [smiles] Congratulations.

Rigsby

No, it surprised me too. Still is, actually. Hard for me to believe sometimes.

Van Pelt

Are you okay?

Rigsby

Yeah. Babies are good, right? Always wanted to have kids, it's just a little earlier than I expected.

Van Pelt

So are you and Sarah getting married?

Rigsby

Oh, no. Nothing like that. Wouldn't want to rush into anything, right? We haven't even been dating that long.

Van Pelt

If you need anything you can ask. You know that, right?

Rigsby

Yeah. You should get going, though.

Van Pelt

Yeah. [moves to walk away, but stops and turns] Wayne? The kid is lucky. You're going to make a great dad.

Rigsby

Yeah? You think?

Van Pelt

[smiles] I know it.

Van Pelt

You ready to be a daddy? That's gonna be you soon.

Rigsby

Oh no, I can cry much louder than that.

Rigsby

Ah well done.

Cho

Good job, when do we get her back?

Jane

The judge said we can pick her up from County Jail tomorrow.

Rigsby

Did Mancini really throw a bottle at you?

Jane

Yes he did. And then he procedeed to chase me through the State House. But failed to catch me.

Lisbon

Congratulations, another mortal enemy made. You shoul be very proud.

If I don't like what you have to say, you could walk out of this room charged with murder. Do you understand that?

Rigsby

Yes.

Don't go too easy on him.

Rigsby

No parental advice, thanks.

What you got to complain about? I did my job.

Rigsby

You did your job...

That's right. You're still here. You're a man of respect. Go around all over the places with a legit weapon. You got a handsome son. I did a good job.

Jane

Enough with the cheese.

Rigsby

I'm hungry!

Jane

"They're not interested in provenance."

Rigsby

They're not concerned with provolone— provenance.

Rigsby

[under the effects of powerful marijuana] Boss, is it okay if I sit down?

Lisbon

You are sitting down, Risgby.

Lisbon

Good morning. Thank you for the party, it was very thoughtful.

Rigsby

You're welcome.

Lisbon

But I'm never gonna forgive you for that stripper.

Rigsby

So what did I do last night? Come on. I'm dying here.

Cho

You got up on the table and sang Bohemian Rhapsody.

Rigsby

Oh. I do a pretty good Freddie Mercury. That's not so embarrassing.

Cho

Maybe not for you.

Rigsby

How can you like Triceratops more than [in a deep voice] T. Rex?

Cho

T. Rex are losers. Little arms. It's a big chicken with teeth.

Rigsby

Yeah, and Triceratops is basically a pig with horns.

Cho

And a shield on its head. Beats a giant chicken any day of the week.

Rigsby

Ha ha, in your dreams. What did Jane want?

Cho

He wants us back at the museum.

Rigsby

What are we gonna do?

Cho

Museum heist.

Rigsby

Why?

Cho

I stopped asking questions a long time ago. Come on.

Rigsby

...And some scientists think the T. Rex could run up to 45 miles an hour. That's apex predator. You know what that means?

Cho

Yes.

Rigsby

That means they're top of the food chain. They eat everything.

Cho

So?

Rigsby

So... T. Rex beats Triceratops. I win.

Cho

You went home last night and Googled dinosaurs, didn't you?

Rigsby

Yeah, I did.

Cho

You have no life. I win.