Wayne Rigsby quotes from The Mentalist

Rigsby

I owe her from yesterday.

Cho

She's on her way to the airport.

Rigsby

Oh. Yeah, for that White Hat thing. I thought there was no money for that.

Cho

Lisbon fixed it.

Rigsby

Oh. Would have been nice to say good-bye.

Cho

Yeah, well, cowards don't get to say good-bye when they want.

Rigsby

Cowa— wow. Where'd that come from? You calling me a coward?

Cho

Yep.

Rigsby

How so?

Cho

How long have you been pretending you're not in love with Van Pelt?

Rigsby

Who says I'm in love with Van Pelt? I was once, a long time ago, but not anymore. We're just... We're just... good friends.

Cho

You're a coward and terrible liar. [walks away]

Rigsby

Uh, says you. "Coward." What does he know about relationships? [shouting after Cho] Yeah, well, you date pregnant hookers and your— your dinosaur eats grass!

Grace

Sorry. It was a welcome back gift.

Lisbon

Very thoughtful, Wayne.

Rigsby

How did you know it's from me?

Lisbon

I'm a homicide detective.

Rigsby

Go ahead. Say it. Now you're supposed to say "say what?". And I say "you think I'm an idiot for buying Van Pelt that orchid". You know what? I'm glad I did. Cause now the ball's in her court. I'm gonna be so zen about this. The move's hers. I'm gonna be the reed that bends in the breeze.

Cho

You're still in love with her. But instead of telling her, you bought her a plant.

Rigsby

That's pretty zen though, right?

Cho

You're gonna touch all of them?

Rigsby

Haven't touched that one. I'm looking for poppy.

Cho

Lisbon took it. If you want poppy, grab the everything bagel.

Rigsby

Yeah, but it has all the other stuff on it. Like those onion scrubs, I mean what are the point of those?

Cho

All I see is problems.

Rigsby

All I see is bagels.

Cho

Just make a choice.

Rigsby

The Tupperware's a clue. Why hide something in Tupperware?

Lisbon

I don't know. Keep it fresh?

Van Pelt

Nothing stays fresh for nine years.

Lisbon

Well, maybe LaRoche needed a box, and the Tupperware was handy.

Rigsby

No. Tupperware's never handy. It's always in the wrong drawer.

Van Pelt

And when you do find it, the lid's always missing.

Rigsby

Right? I hate that.

Grace Van Pelt

Hey, are you gonna be home for dinner?

Wayne Rigsby

Uh, yeah, sure.

Van Pelt

Wait. Are you at that dirty taco truck?

Van Pelt

[sighs] I can literally hear you trying to think up an excuse.

Rigsby

No, that's the sound of me eating a taco. Salad tonight, I promise. I love you, bye.