Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Jane

(at the crime scene) This is Red John.

Lisbon

How can you tell?

Jane

Because when it's him, I can feel it.

Teresa Lisbon

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Patrick Jane

No. You're thinking that if Bertram is Red John, he sent us out to the middle of nowhere for a reason. To get us out of the way for when he makes his next move. I am thinking about... trains. Toot toot!

My gosh. I mean, I always knew I had a psychic gift, but this is damn spooky.

Jane

Psychic gift? Excellent. Tell me, uh, will I enjoy your eggs?

You betcha.

Jane

We'll see.

Jane

Mmm. You're right, Sonya. These are enjoyable eggs. Room for improvement, but very enjoyable. Good.

Lisbon

What are we doing, Jane?

Jane

I'm eating eggs; you're staring at a dry muffin.

Well, Patrick, here we are.

Poor fella. Smart, but dumb. It never occurred to him that I am the Blake association.

Jane

Why'd you have to kill him?

Everyone thinks he's Red John, don't they? So... it would seem a fitting end to the story if you two were found dead together. No one will look any deeper.

Jane

So I'm supposed to die, am I? After all these years? Seems kind of unfair.

[in his high-pitched 'Red John' voice] It's totally fair. The game's over, and I won.

Jane

It's not a game.

There's a winner and a loser. That's a game.

Jane

It's not a game I asked to play.

No, but you played it very well nonetheless. You were fun, challenging. Thank you.

You probably have a lot of questions for me, huh? We have time, if you want.

Jane

I have no questions. You're an evil, sexually perverted sociopath with pathetic delusions of grandeur. The rest is just details.

Evil, sexually perverted sociopath? Well, I guess I have to own that, but, uh... delusions of grandeur? No. I have no delusions. I built a secret empire. I control the lives of thousands of people. My word is life and death, and nobody knows who I am. Now if that's not grandeur, I don't know what you call it.

Jane

I'd call it the ravings of a squalid egomaniac.

You see? For no reason at all, you... you're rude and contemptuous. That's why your wife and kid are dead. Who are you to butt in here and make obnoxious judgments about me? Who are you? Hmm? Who are you? Nobody. Nobody. You didn't know me. You don't know me. You have no idea. Here's your problem, Pat. You're a smart man, but you are arrogant. You can't imagine someone smarter than you. Which is why I've been ahead of you at every step along the way.

Jane

You're holding the gun. You want to brag? Go ahead. I'm not gonna stop you.

You still don't know how I fooled you, do you? How did I survive that bomb? How did I know all the names on your list?

Jane

Is this what you've been missing? Appreciation?

Please don't kill me. Let me live.

Please... let me live. I'll tell you how I got the names on your list. I don't care. I-I knew because I have real psychic—

Jane

Shh.

Jane

I want you to blink once for "no" and twice for "yes."

Jane

Are you sorry that you killed my wife Angela and my daughter Charlotte?

Jane

Good. Good. Are you afraid to die?

Jane

Good.

Lisbon

Why are you being so stubborn? The F.B.I. is offering you a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Jane

Well, you make that sound like a good thing.

Lisbon

Isn't it?

Jane

Not on their terms. If I can't live on my terms, I'm in prison anyway.

Jane

[surveying the FBI offices] Hmm. I don't see a couch anywhere.

Lisbon

Don't start trouble. At least not yet.

Lisbon

You ran away again, Jane. Not from the F.B.I. - you ran away from me.

Jane

Yeah, but I ran back.

Lisbon

How was I supposed to know? I thought you were gone again forever.

Jane

Okay, you're right. I-I'm sorry, Lisbon. I... I didn't think about you.

Lisbon

Well, you rarely do.

Jane

Well that's not true! I made you one of my demands. I'm—I'm not joining the F.B.I. unless they make you a job offer.

Lisbon

That's my point. What makes you think I want to work with you again? You are difficult and exhausting, and maybe I don't want to put the rest of my life on hold to be your sidekick. Have you ever even thought about that?

Jane

No... no. I hadn't considered it.

Lisbon

I got you something.

Jane

For me?

Lisbon

Mm-hmm.

Jane

[moved] You got me socks!

Lisbon

Handmade in Washington.

Jane

Aww!

Lisbon

[sighing] This room makes me feel like I'm in an aquarium, and everyone's looking at me.

Jane

Mm. Well, you could very easily feel like they're all in the aquarium and you're looking at them.

Lisbon

What are you doing?

Jane

I'm following the conversation. The G-man says that I don't have adequate security clearance to work on the Whitaker case, and Fischer is arguing.

Lisbon

Are you reading their lips?

Jane

I would be if I didn't have to answer inane questions.

Lisbon

Oh, okay, boss.

Jane

I'm not your boss. Why would you say that?

Lisbon

It's just that sometimes now you act like you are.

Jane

But we're equals, partners.

Lisbon

Okay, fine. Just remember that.

Jane

I will remember that.

Jane

[I]f Whitaker was murdered because of his highly sensitive military work with the Pentagon, I shouldn't know anything about that. So, I'll happily leave.

Wait. What did you tell him?

Nothing.

Who told you that he works for the Pentagon? And consider your answer well.

Jane

You did.

Don't be absurd. I've never seen you before.

Jane

No, but your presence here told me, because you wouldn't be here if he worked for, uh, Pottery Shack or Pizza Barn, would you?

Excuse me?

Jane

You're excused. [to Fischer] He's a little slow on the uptake, this one.

Fischer, this is unacceptable.

I apologize, sir—

Jane

No, no. Hush. Don't apologize. Don't take it out on her. She didn't do anything.

Jane

Thank you, Curtis. We'll be in touch.

Thank you. Good day to you. [Curtis turns to leave the room]

Jane

[before Curtis exits] Well, he's a prime suspect.

[stops and asks Jane, dumbfounded] Say again?

Jane

Oh, I was talking to my colleagues. Bye, Curtis.

Jane

They'll try again. They just need to be lulled into a false sense of security.

And how do we lull them like that?

Jane

We need to arrest someone else and charge them with Whitaker's murder.

We can't arrest people under false pretenses.

Jane

We can't?

[in unison] No.

Jane

Why not?

It's illegal.

Jane

Oh. Well, that's a problem. I guess we need to think outside of the box.

Lisbon

That's always a bad sign.

I'm Special Agent Marcus Pike. This is Agent Searls. You're Patrick Jane, right? Abbott's guy.

Jane

Well, he's my guy.

Thanks for, uh, sharing your floor with us.

Jane

You people need some help, huh?

[laughs] What makes you say that?

Jane

[gestures to Searls] His shoulders.

[readjusting his posture] Hey, now, uh—

Jane

Hey, now, I'm just saying, if you need some help, I could help you. I mean, murder is my business.

Sure. I've heard good things about you. We'd be happy to have your input.