Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Rigsby

Oh, I've been hypnotized, have I? You gonna make me do embarrassing things? Pretend I'm Tina Turner or something?

Jane

You wanna be like Tina Turner?

Lisbon

Carl is still our prime suspect in this. We can't use him a bait.

Jane

Well, as long as we don't lose him or break him, then what's the problem?

Lisbon

This case is closed. You're just seeing suggestion everywhere, Jane. You're too suggestible.

Jane

Hmm.

Lisbon

Oh, right. Too much of a control freak for that?

Rigsby

Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, pot. [Lisbon gives him a look]

Jane

Deeply hypnotized subjects are very suggestible and have very little inhibition. Rigsby, do me a favor. Close your eyes. Please. [Rigsby closes his eyes] Now, relax. Don't tell me, but think about it. Think about what you most wanna be doing right now. You can do anything you like in the whole world. What are you gonna do? I want you to open your eyes and do it.

Jane

Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

Cho

Huh.

Lisbon

Okay, he's hypnotized.

Jane

Hypnosis is just a way to connect to the imagination rather than the conscious mind. The mind will accept whatever the imagination creates, however bizarre.

Lisbon

Hypnotism is what you use against my explicit orders to get witnesses to tell the truth. It's a little different than convincing somebody that a dead girl is a sack of vegetables.

Jane

Different in scale.

Jane

He's all soft and squishy and malleable.

Lisbon

Well, can you fix him? Lift the trance, make him remember what happened?

Jane

I could try but without knowing the trigger it would be like you and me playing Marco Polo in the Atlantic. Take forever and you get all pruny. Easier just to find the hypnotist and ask him.

Lisbon

What's NLP?

Neurolinguistic programming.

Jane

Well, sneaky ways to influence people doesn't sound quite as catchy.

Jane

Coward.

Rigsby

What?

Jane

You honestly don't remember it?

Rigsby

Don't remember what?

Cho

He remembers.

Lisbon

He so remembers.

Rigsby

What?

Jane

It'll come to you.

I hope that she finds happiness. Because happiness is so hard to find. Once you find it, you've gotta hang on tight, or you will lose it.

Jane

That's true.

Jane

You know what I predict?

Lisbon

Nope.

Jane

Guess.

Lisbon

Just tell me.

Jane

No, I think you should guess, it's good for you. (Lisbon gives him a look.) I predict that Brandon Fulton will pay a visit to the Hanson residence this evening.

Lisbon

You think? Wouldn't be too clever.

Jane

Love is not blind, but it's often pretty stupid.

Jane

Whoo. She was some woman. Make the mighty agent Lisbon blush like a school girl.

Lisbon

Please, I did not.

Jane

Oh, Mitch, I thought we'd worked through your doormat issues. [To Lisbon] Tell Cho to squeeze him a little, he knows things.

No, I don't.

Jane

Sure you do, Mitch.

Lisbon

You're not gonna like getting squeezed by Cho.

Jane

What is it that first attracted you to your husband? Not his looks.

Oh, really?

Jane

Yeah, really. He's not your type.

And what is my type?

Jane

Oh, ah, sporty bad boys with a hidden masochistic streak.

Aha.

Jane

Not too bright.

Not even close.

Jane

No, that was a bull's eye.

Lisbon

What do you think?

Jane

Oh, he's lying. They had an argument. You go out to celebrate with the man that financed your movie and only pay half the dinner bill?

Cho

Nice. I could arrest you for that.

Jane

You'll never take me alive, copper.

Cho

Seriously.

Jane

Seriously, it's Marilyn and Charlie. What, do you want to make a comedy arrest, see your name written in the weird news section?