The Life and Times of Juniper Lee quotes

Monroe

It took a little work, but I managed dig up an Amnesian Stone. If used properly, it can wipe out the last 24 hours of Dennis' memory. ...Should I uh, give 'er a rub?

Juniper Lee

Mmm.... (glances at Dennis talking with Ray Ray) ...Nah. We couldn't have won today without Dennis. And... I know he can be a real pain but, well, it turns out he's pretty good at this. Heh. Who knew?

Monroe

(smiling) Guess it runs in the family.

Juniper Lee

Yeah. ....Who knows, maybe he'll even be fun to have around...

Dennis Lee

(offscreen) Hey June, what's this do? (she gets hit with a magical blast, burning her hair) Oh man! June! You should really label these things, June, sheesh.

Juniper Lee

(to Monroe) But hang on to the stone. Just in case.

Monroe

Your Grandmother was forced to stay an extra 30 years when the mantle of Te Xuan Ze skipped your father. She had to remain in Orchid Bay 3 extra decades for Juniper, she spent her whole life here. If anyone ever had the right to complain it's her.

Michael Lee

So, who are you related to?

Jasmine Lee

Uh- uh, I, I'm uh-I am a... I'm a Dwan! Ming-Mei and Jin's daughter.

Michael Lee

Huh, (mumbled) Ming-Mei and Jin... ...Huh. I don't know that part of the family.

Jasmine Lee

Imagine that.

Jasmine Lee

(after being turned younger) What's everybody staring at?

Ray Ray Lee

Whoa, Ah-Mah, you look hot.

Eww!

Ray Ray Lee

What? I can't say my own grandmother looks hot?

NO!

Jasmine Lee

(giggles) Of course you can sweetie, your Ah-Mah could never get tired of hearing it.

Ray Ray Lee

Phew! No need to thank me! (smugly) ...Cousin Roxanne. Hhhhigh-five!

Jasmine Lee

Ray Ray, why didn't you just say I was a friend from school! Now I gave to sleep here! And what kinda name is Roxanne?!

Ray Ray Lee

A cool name! Like a Vegas show-girl, or, or a one who drives a trucker! We could call ya Roxie! (Micheal appears out of the doorway)

Michael Lee

Hey, I like that! So, aunt Barbara's gonna call the school in the morning, sooo (points at "Roxie") Roxie can go to class with you and see how the kids in the states have it! It's gonna be fun! (he leaves, June and Ah-Mah give Ray Ray a look)

Ray Ray Lee

...Five bucks I can get ya out of it. (Juniper slaps his shoulder) Ow! ... Two bucks. (sees June raise her hand again, runs off-screen)

So Jasmine, why don't you tell us a little about China?

Jasmine Lee

I haven't been to China in 40 years! (the class stares at her, June gives her a look) I mean uh, for awhile, but I'm sure it hasn't changed since I left it.

Any other questions?

Do you know karate? (she sighs, annoyed)

First of all, karate is JAPANESE, second of all why do people always ask Asians those same questions? First question, "What are you?", second question, "Do you know karate?". So, I'm Chinese, and yes, I know karate. And over 26 other styles of hand-to-hand combat! (jumps up and lands on desk in a combat position, June gives her a look) Uh, we learn it in gym class.

Now Roxanne, there's one question I like to ask all my students, what would you like to be when you grow up?

Jasmine Lee

A size 4! (laughs, June gives her a look, then she gets serious) I guess what I really wanted to do was become an archaeologist. Studying different cultures and people from all around the world.

Well, you've still got time Roxanne.

Jasmine Lee

It would appear so.

Juniper Lee

Roger, go home!

Roger Radcliffe

Not until I see Roxanne!

Juniper Lee

Roxanne went back to China!

Barbara Lee

He's got five minutes, then I'm turning on the sprinklers.

Roger Radcliffe

Roxanne!!! (the sprinklers turn on, Roger slips and falls)

Ray Ray Lee

This... is Roger's knapsack!

Who? Th-Those bags were in that closet when I rented this joint.

Ray Ray Lee

This is Jody's! ..And Marcus's! Ophelia's! [gasps sadly]... This is June's knapsack... [Freddy cringes and is about to back out but is tripped over by Monroe]

Dennis Lee

Don't move! This is a banishment stone and I know how to use it! ... Mostly.

Ray Ray Lee

[to Monroe] See! All these text books have her name in 'em, an-and this is her soccer jersey, and... [finds June's family tree album] ...And this- is Juniper!

Monroe

...Sweet Agnes McGee... [Sees June wearing her bracelet on the photo] ...It's true!

Ray Ray Lee

Where's my sister?

Okay look! I had to get them dragon eggs back, I was sellin' em to these guys who was wayyy mad when I lost em- They was gonna break off my horns! I mean, I didn't mean...

...It was an accident.

Juniper Lee

Ya wanna show these guys what happens when ya mess with the Lee's?

Ray Ray Lee

Oh yeah! [Both proceed to give a beat-down to the Time Wraiths]

Juniper Lee

Well, that explains how Cletus can stand these things.

Gus

Not really, he'll eat anything. [Cletus takes a bite out of the couch]

Ray Ray Lee

Dude, you are so paying for that.

Juniper Lee

[to Ray Ray] Eat! Eat like the wind!