Auntie Roon quotes from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee

Oh, just great. Gone four centuries and this is all I get?! Wouldn't have killed you to rent a hall or something? Spring for a sweets table, maybe a band?

And what do you boys plan on doing with them, may I ask?

You're gonna eat 'em, aren't ya?

Oh, good! Because I was thinking that would be a waste of a perfectly good farm, if you know what I mean.

Oh, stop already! I'm homosapien intolerant. They give me gas. You don't wanna know, it's not pretty. Okay, boys, let's get this horror show on the road! I'm not getting any younger, you know.

Ooh, hold on a sec! (holds a pair of capri pants) One of you be a doll and see if you can get these in a size sixteen.

That's right, darlings. Banishment schmanishment.(chuckles) You can't keep an old broad down forever. So kiss this world goodbye 'cause dinner is served, and you're it! (cackles, then coughs) Anyone have a hard candy?

Hello! Somebody could've told me earlier! I wouldn't have gotten all dolled-up. Besides, what's the point of wreaking evil havoc if nobody can see it?! I mean excuse me for living, but if I didn't wanted to be ignored after 400 years, I would've had children of my own!

Am I right, or am I right? Much better when they can see you. Listen up, you little brats! For reasons beyond my control at the time, you missed my big evil entrance... thing. And I'm getting too old to repeat myself, ya hear? But here's the condensed version: the party's over, you'll never see your friends and family again! (pause) Oh yeah, and there's no escape.

Like I said, no escape! (to one half of her henchmen) Round up the food, I mean kids. (to the other half of her henchmen) And you, you big slices of heaven on toast, prepare the portal. (Cut to the roof where Juniper observes her) These meals are to go.

Hya! (kicking her fish's gills)

(cackles) I love this game!

Are you kidding me with this?! I gotta get this boon off my back! (sniffs) Good magic. Ugh, I can smell it. Stanley! Francine! Move your little butts! (They move out) Nobody messes with Auntie Roon! Ándele! (kicks her fish's gills)

You work for the Te Xuan Ze. And if memory serves, you're the one who put me out of commission for four centuries!

(grabs Ray Ray by the shirt and holds her scepter aimed at his neck) Tell me where the real Te Xuan Ze is or the munchkin gets it!