Dennis Lee quotes from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee

Dennis Lee

It tastes like feet.

Dennis Lee

Whoa. (starts to go over, Barbara stops him)

Dennis Lee

Man, I'll bet that turkey doesn't taste like feet.

Dennis Lee

Stupid forest! Dumb nature stuff! Boring trees! I could be home, but, "Oh, let's go camping!" I hate this stupid, stupid-- (a shadow comes over him, he sees it's the sasquatch) AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Dennis Lee

Mo-om! Nature doesn't have 12 levels of flesh-eating zombies! Eugh! ...such a waste of space. Right here could be a mini-mall... or at least a taco stand. (the squirrel throws its nut at him) Ow! Man!

Juniper Lee

Hold on, hold on. Ahh! My guitar's out of tune.

Dennis Lee

Trust me, Van Halen, it's not the guitar.

Juniper Lee

Hey, at least I can keep the beat. There's dead people who can keep time better than you.

Dennis Lee

Oh, yeah? Well, Ray-Ray doesn't even know which song we're playing.

Ray Ray Lee

Dude, I go where the music takes me. (he drums)

Juniper Lee

Come on. Tryouts for the talent show are tomorrow. Can we please try and get through one song?

Ray Ray Lee

Dude! Roger is a musical genius!

Juniper Lee

Yeah, but look at Mr. Roskins. He hates everything.

Dennis Lee

Oh, what do you care what some old geezer thinks.

Juniper Lee

He's the judge.

Dennis Lee

So?

Juniper Lee

He decides which acts get in the show.

Dennis Lee

So?

Juniper Lee

If he doesn't like us, we don't get in.

Dennis Lee

In what?

Juniper Lee

I cannot believe we're related.

Ray Ray Lee

We rule!

Juniper Lee

Hmph. That was weird.

Dennis Lee

No, it's not. We got in off our reputation.

Juniper Lee

Reputation? Mom and Dad are the only ones who've heard us play, and they made us soundproof the basement! We stink!

Dennis Lee

You stink. I carry both of your no-talent butts.

Juniper Lee

You play bass, Dennis. It's a miracle anyone even notices you.

Juniper Lee

(pounding on the bathroom door) Dennis! C'mon! You said you'd be done in 5 minutes, it's been 15, I need to take a shower!

Dennis Lee

(heard inside the bathroom; groans) Get lost, dweeb! ...I'm shaving.

Juniper Lee

Ugh please, I have more mustache than you do. (Dennis opens the door and puts his head through, his chin and cheeks are covered in foam)

Dennis Lee

You said it, not me! (he wipes foam under June's nose and goes back in the bathroom, laughing, June wipes the foam off her lip)

Dennis Lee

...and I know you're gonna freak out but just stay with me, OK. (takes a deep breath) Magic, is real.

Juniper Lee

...Wow. Figure that out all by yourself?

Dennis Lee

Get ahold of yourself!

Juniper Lee

I'm fine Dennis, you on the other hand, know too much.

Dennis Lee

What? (Monroe throws Goblin Dust on him, he coughs) Did the dog just throw powder on me?!

Monroe

Uh-oh.

What?

Monroe

Apparently we've Goblin Dusted 'im so much he's developed an immunity to it.

Juniper Lee

He knows but, only enough to get himself killed out there. He needs to know.

Dennis Lee

(about to go on a "world-saving mission") Farewell sister, for I may not return. (leaves, June chases after him)

Juniper Lee

Dennis, wait! I've gotta tell you something!

Monroe

Lass, no! Ya can't tell 'em the truth!

Boomfist

With the powers of H.A.T.E., the villains of L.O.V.E. don't stand a chance!

Monroe

(upon seeing Ray Ray with Boomfist) Can it really be?

Juniper Lee

It's not possible.

Dennis Lee

Whoa. Why ya talkin' to the dog?

Monroe

It took a little work, but I managed dig up an Amnesian Stone. If used properly, it can wipe out the last 24 hours of Dennis' memory. ...Should I uh, give 'er a rub?

Juniper Lee

Mmm.... (glances at Dennis talking with Ray Ray) ...Nah. We couldn't have won today without Dennis. And... I know he can be a real pain but, well, it turns out he's pretty good at this. Heh. Who knew?

Monroe

(smiling) Guess it runs in the family.

Juniper Lee

Yeah. ....Who knows, maybe he'll even be fun to have around...

Dennis Lee

(offscreen) Hey June, what's this do? (she gets hit with a magical blast, burning her hair) Oh man! June! You should really label these things, June, sheesh.

Juniper Lee

(to Monroe) But hang on to the stone. Just in case.

Ray Ray Lee

This... is Roger's knapsack!

Who? Th-Those bags were in that closet when I rented this joint.

Ray Ray Lee

This is Jody's! ..And Marcus's! Ophelia's! [gasps sadly]... This is June's knapsack... [Freddy cringes and is about to back out but is tripped over by Monroe]

Dennis Lee

Don't move! This is a banishment stone and I know how to use it! ... Mostly.